


One Rainy Day

by megdanger



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: An Emotional Rollercoaster, F/F, Gen, I will stubbornly remain in my tiny Ned/Duck paddleboat until I am dead, M/M, TAZ Amnesty, Takes place in a magical continuity sometime after the evil tree arc but not really affected by it, some shit's gonna go down but it'll all (probably) be ok in the end, there will be Angst but also cute shipping stuff and humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-08-18 19:06:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 39,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16522886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megdanger/pseuds/megdanger
Summary: Ned, Duck, and Aubrey are all a mess in their own way, hiding secrets, feelings, and things they'd just as soon forget. And today, the giant rock monster that's trying to kill them is going to be the least of their worries.Or: The Pine Guard has a very bad day, but Ned has objectively the worst day**Edit: canon divergent as ALL FUCK thanks to episode 19, thanks a lot Griffin**





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duck and Ned have a fight that kicks off what will be a Very Long Day.

“I think it’s gonna rain soon,” Duck said as he, Aubrey, and Ned limped back into town after what one might generously call an unsuccessful confrontation against some kind of giant stone golem that the three of them were already affectionately referring to as “Rocky.” It had clobbered the living hell out of them before, of course, somehow disappearing into thin air.

“You’re a regular prognosticator, Duck,” Ned teased, gesturing at the grey, gloomy sky, “you’ll give Mr. Cold a run for his money.”

“Shut up,” Duck replied, smiling despite himself and shoving Ned with his shoulder, which only served to make both men wince, sore from the fight.

“Man, how we gonna fight a big fuckin’ rock?” Duck grumbled.

“Giant piece of paper!” Aubrey exclaimed, Ned snickering as Duck gave her a long-suffering look.

“Because paper covers -”

“Yes, Aubrey, I get the joke.”

Ned patted Aubrey on the back, “Not everyone can appreciate humor of your sophistication, kiddo.”

She nodded in mock-serious agreement, “It’s my gift and my curse.”

Unfortunately, Duck’s question was a good one. Beacon had barely even scraped the monster, chipping away tiny pebbles. Aubrey’s fire had been similarly ineffective, and after a glancing blow had sent him sprawling face-first into the dirt, Ned had spent the fight huddled underneath a bush. 

“I guess we should head back to the lodge?” Aubrey asked, “see if Mama and Barclay are back yet?”

After reports from campers of some kind of moving rock formation, Mama had put out the call and they had split up into two groups to comb the adjacent bits of the Monongahela, with Duck and the gang being the lucky ones to stumble into Rocky. 

“I’ve got a, uh, meeting with someone soon,” Duck stuttered awkwardly, “so if you could just like, give me a call if something’s up?”

Duck still hadn’t specifically explained Minerva and everything that was all tied up in that, and the other two hadn’t pressed it, something for which Duck was quietly, immensely grateful. It was clear enough to them that whatever weird magical shit he was keeping secret was important in its own right, and anyway there was more than enough weird magical shit to deal with as it was. 

“I’m gonna pass on that too,” Ned added, checking his watch, “it’s officially the afternoon and that’s late enough to justify drinking at least a good third of a bottle of whiskey I’ve got back at the Cryptonomica. I’m sure if something major happens we’ll all end up back together one way or another.”

Aubrey shrugged and peeled off in the direction of the Amnesty Lodge, admittedly probably more motivated at the thought of getting back to Dani than an abomination update. Meanwhile, every part of Duck seemed to ache and the thought of a drink sounded _really_ good right now.

“You mind if I join you, just for a quick one?” Duck asked.

Ned nodded, almost giving Duck a hearty slap on the back before remembering their current circumstance and lowering his arm mid-swing.

“You know I’d never say no to a drinking buddy, Duck!” Ned replied cheerfully, “unless it was my really good top shelf stuff, in which case I’d tell you to beat it.”

Duck chuckled, again, seemingly against his will. Ned’s knack for getting a laugh out of Duck when he really didn’t want to give it was almost uncanny sometimes. 

Soon enough, the two men were standing in the pleasant dimness of the Cryptomonica, currently closed to the public as they each took a shot of whiskey, Duck enjoying the sweet burn as it hit the back of his throat. He didn’t drink very often, and it always seemed to be with Ned (more than likely because Ned had always had very good taste in booze).

“Damn, that’s good,” Duck said appreciatively.

“As if I would waste my time drinking anything that wasn’t?” Ned responded wryly.

Duck laughed and took a slower sip, stretching his back and hearing a disconcerting amount of cracking as he did. Tough as he was, he was gonna be a mess of black and blue later. 

“Rocky got a few on you, huh?” Ned asked, a smirk in his voice that Duck didn’t particularly care for. 

“Dunno how good of a look you were able to get from under the bushes,” he responded dryly, arching an eyebrow.

Per usual, Ned tried to bluster his way to into an excuse.

“Oh, well, you know, someone had to be the one to uh, reconnoiter the perimeter, scan the area for any bystanders and uh…” he stopped, having seemingly run out of words. He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck and looking anywhere else but at Duck.

“Er, yeah, sorry about that.”

The other man just sighed in that deeply tired way that made that him seem so much older than he was, aged from carrying the weight of a destiny he still couldn’t understand. Mostly because he didn’t want to, but that was neither here nor there. 

“It’s ok, Ned,” Duck replied with a resigned shrug, “I mean it’s not like we ain’t used to it by now or anything.”

And Duck said this matter-of-factly, the same way that he had commented that the dark and heavy clouds hanging over Kepler would soon bring rain. 

It was this acceptance of Ned’s cowardice as a simple truth, with maybe just the lightest edge of exasperated nastiness that rankled Ned, that pushed him past his usual response of a shrug and shamefaced grin. Instead, he hunched up his shoulders defensively, heavy eyebrows pulling his face down into a scowl.

“Well, we can’t all be heroes, I guess,” he said with a fake, passive-aggressive cheerfulness.

And Duck, realizing he’d inadvertently (or maybe little advertently, was that even a word?) hit a sore spot, rolled his eyes and sighed that same sigh again. He should really get a new one, try to expand his repertoire a bit.

“Now, come on, Ned, I didn’t mean nothing, but we both know you got a bit of a track record. On basically all of our - what do we even call ‘em? Hunts, I guess? You always kinda, well...”

He trailed off, pretty sure he was making it worse.

“I what?” Ned asked, the question mark ending in a sharp point. “I try to keep from dying? What should I be doing, then? Please Duck, tell me, because I’m very curious to know, just what _should_ I be doing? Should I be shooting off fireballs and using my magic powers? Should I just go in swinging my magic sword and getting up from a hit that would kill a normal person?”

And Duck felt himself unconsciously stepping backward, his back brushing against one of the glass display cases as Ned continued, his voice getting louder.

“Or maybe I should smash my car into a cable lift and let it get crushed like a soda can? Or put myself in the hospital trying to save you from being flattened to death? Or just kill one of the abominations myself? Remember when I did that? Remember our old friend, Aqualung?”

And before Duck had a chance to respond, Ned answered for him, stroking his chin like he was trying hard to recall.

“Hmm, I guess not, because I’m pretty sure you _weren’t there_.”

“I had a concussion!” Duck said, his voice going so high he almost finished the sentence with a squeak, “I was floating unconscious in a tank!”

And Duck felt himself getting mad, an emotion he didn’t feel very often. Annoyed? Sure. Put upon? Almost always. But he could count the number of times he felt truly angry and this was starting to be one of them.

“Ok, fine, so then what you do want, man?” he asked, throwing his arms up in the air, his voice now just as loud as Ned’s.

“You want a medal? You want a special congratulations where everyone says thank you and tells you what a great person you are? Because no one else gets that. We just do the thing. None of us asked for this, but we do it! Look at Aubrey! Sure, she’s got powers and all but she’s just a kid and most of the time she doesn’t even know what she’s doing. She’s scared just like you and me but do you ever see that girl whining about being in danger? Or that not enough people are telling her what a good job she did?”

And Ned’s self-righteous fury was stopped in its tracks, deflated somewhat. But Duck didn’t feel much in the way of satisfaction, just a heavy feeling in his stomach that he didn’t like at all, and so he turned away, heading towards the front door to leave. Before the last spark of anger inside him flickered out, he glanced back over his shoulder at the old conman.

“Grow the fuck up, Ned.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People have been born and are now teens since I've written a multi-chapter fic, comments are appreciated because I have No Idea what I'm doing but it's gonna get wild.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duck ponders, Ned broods, and Aubrey has an extremely pleasant afternoon.

Duck was getting his ass handed to him by Minerva during his training, and although he really, _really_ wished that he could blame it on the aches and pains from his earlier fight with Rocky, the truth was that he was distracted, that his mind was still at the Cryptonomica, replaying his argument with Ned. 

They’d just been hanging out, having a drink. How had it escalated so quickly?

After the third “killing” strike against him, Minerva sheathed her ghostly blade, head cocked to the side in a confusion that she was somehow able to clearly express even without a face.

“What Is Troubling You, Duck Newton? You Do Not Seem Very Engaged In Your Hero Training!”

“I’m not feeling too much like a hero today, Minnie,” Duck answered, lowering himself down to the tightly-packed dirt. He was still trying that one out, that small show of familiarity. She hadn’t objected to it yet. 

“Do Not Be Ridiculous Duck Newton! What Is Causing You This Distress?”

“I think I was kinda hard on Ned earlier,” Duck explained. “I mean, he was being a pain in the ass but I sorta went off on him and like, I guess he’s just doing his best, you know? He’s...well, there’s no reason to sugarcoat it, he’s a big baby. But still, he could’ve tried to quit a while ago and instead he keeps on showing up. And then usually hiding behind something. Or running away from something. Or trying to lock us out of a panic room - shit, now I’m just back to being irritated at him.”

“Not Everyone Can Have A Hero’s Resolve, Duck Newton!” Minerva replied, as bombastic as ever, “This Is Part Of What Makes You So Special!”

“Does it though?” Duck argued, “because I could name a fair amount of other folks around who seem like they got plenty of that. I know you ain’t met Aubrey and Mama and Barclay and the gang, but I’m pretty sure they all got more grit than me.”

“You Have Much Grit, Duck Newton! And Even If You Think You Do Not, You Still Try Nonetheless.”

Duck found himself frowning at the ground, digging a furrow in the dirt with the tip of Beacon, who had been mercifully silent throughout the whole exchange.

“So does Ned, in his own way, I suppose.”

Minerva seemed to be starting to say something, but, as often happened, she vanished before it could be said, leaving Duck to wonder as he sat alone in the dirt behind his apartment building, the first fat drops of rain spattering against his back.

\-------------------

 

Aubrey had always made a point of living in the present, not putting too much thought toward what came before or might come after. She was like that even before the accident, before the fire, not wasting time worrying about how her parents could react when she came out to them or the slim odds of finding success as a magician. She knew what she wanted to do in the moment and she did it, and if it didn’t work out she would try to learn from it, but she certainly wouldn’t dwell.

Mostly. 

It had been hard, trying not to see what had at first looked like Duck getting killed by her mistake every time she closed her eyes. But she was getting better at it, blocking it off and squishing it down into the deepest part of her and trying not to worry about who she might hurt if it happened again.

Don’t dwell. Live in the now, appreciate that “the now” involved a new home, new friends, an awesome job kicking monster ass, and an extremely cute girl who was apparently some kind of vampire-person - but not the blood-drinking kind - who Aubrey really hoped also thought that she was cute too. 

That was more than enough to keep her thoughts firmly planted in the present.

And presently, Aubrey was sitting out on the front porch of the Amnesty Lodge with said cute girl, watching the rain fall in soft, drifting sheets, plinking down into puddles and soaking into the grass. 

Mama and Barclay had yet to return, so Aubrey had joined Dani outside, the sylph sitting in a rocking chair, legs crossed as she balanced her sketchbook in her lap, capturing the weather in long, swift strokes of her pencil. 

Sitting still was never high on Aubrey’s list of skills. Definitely somewhere near the bottom five, along with tongue-twisters, skiing (apparently), and not crying when animals got hurt in movies. She’d lost count of the number of times teachers had called her parents about her problems fidgeting in class, not listening, not focusing, legs kicking back and forth, brain a thousand miles away, thinking about at least ten things at once, none of which were in the textbook on her desk.

But even as her right leg bounced up and down against the porch’s worn, wooden planks and she fiddled idly with the buttons on her vest, she felt a stillness that wasn’t oppressive, that didn’t weigh down on her like a pile of hot, wool blankets. It was peaceful, calming. 

It was nice.

As Aubrey’s brain tuned back in, she noticed that Dani had stopped drawing and was now looking at Aubrey. Both girls blushed and then laughed, and then blushed harder. 

“What?” Aubrey managed to ask through a wave of embarrassed giggles. 

“Nothing,” Dani replied with a crooked smile, “you just looked real nice is all. It seemed worth taking a moment to appreciate it.”

And Aubrey somehow managed to blush even harder. At this rate, there was a very good chance that her face might literally, actually catch on fire. She nervously chewed her bottom lip, she was a grown adult, she could legally go drink alcohol and possibly even rent a car, (which was a weird benchmark of adulthood but whatever), the point was, it wasn’t like she’d never dated, never been with girls and guys and people who weren’t either of those, but somehow Dani had the power to reduce her to a sweaty, awkward 13-year-old with just a smile and a compliment.

Damn but she loved it, though.

“Well,” Aubrey started, trying to make her voice calm and cool and definitely not a collection of wobbly squeaks, “maybe you could come and appreciate it over here.”

Dani, valiantly struggling and completely failing to hold back laughter, managed to gasp out “What do you want, exactly? For me to walk over and just, like, squint at you really close? Just stand over your shoulder and - ”

She dissolved into giggles and Aubrey hid behind her hands, yelling, “I don’t do flirting! How do you flirt and still sound like a person and not an idiot? I just want you to come over so I can kiss you, you jerk!” 

Cautiously, Aubrey peeked between her fingers and saw Dani, up and out of her chair and now much closer, taking Aubrey’s hands in her own.

“Then just say that next time, you goon.”

And they kissed and Aubrey closed her eyes and stopped fidgeting and heard the roar of the rain in her ears. After what seemed like ages but also not nearly long enough, they parted and Aubrey took a deep breath.

“Noted.” 

\-------------------

 

Ned was standing in the rain, being miserable. He didn’t particularly want to be out in the rain but it added to the general feeling of misery and seemed appropriate. He was already pissed off about everything else, he might as well be pissed off about being wet too.

After Duck left, he had paced back and forth across the cramped aisles of the Cryptonomica, grumbling swears and half-finished indignations, occasionally kicking a display in a fit of frustration. The tourist trap was still closed and his grandiose temper tantrum was purely for his own benefit, something loud to drown out the quiet but persistent voice in the back of his head.

_You’ll never change,_ it whispered, _no matter how many different names you take, how many lives you inhabit, how far away you run, you’ll always still be you. A coward. A thief. Someone who takes and takes and then runs away, not caring who might get hurt._

“Bullshit!” Ned growled out in reply, this time kicking the back wall by the register and getting a stubbed toe for his efforts.

“Ow! Fuck!” He hopped up and down on one leg before crashing inelegantly to the floor, leaning back against the wall, glad that no one was around to see what even he could recognize was a fairly pathetic display.

Ned rubbed his foot and sighed loudly.

“Fuck Duck,” he muttered, too upset to even laugh at the absurdity of the rhyme. He meant it too. It wasn’t like it was easy, undoing basically a lifetime of bad habits. Didn’t he deserve some kind of credit? Some amount of consideration?

_For being a decent person?_

Oof. Ok, when you put it like that, it did sound pretty bad. And if you weighed the times he’d done something helpful against the times he’d protected himself during his stint in the Pine Guard, the scales would tip pretty heavily in the direction of self-preservation, and that didn’t feel all that great either, even if he did justify it to himself on the basis of just being a normal guy who was in way over his head. 

But Duck was right, which was a really irritating thing to have to think right now. Even if Duck and Aubrey were better suited to this whole monster hunting gig, it didn’t mean that they weren’t just as freaked out and confused by it all, that their lives weren’t also at risk. 

Ned wasn’t quite sure where this sudden bout of self-awareness was coming from, but it was seriously wrecking his pity party. He jumped as the bells above the front door jingled and he leaned over to see Kirby walking in, wet sneakers squeaking against the tiles as he shook out an umbrella. 

“Uh, Ned, what’re you doing on the floor?”

“Nothing!” He said quickly, standing up, folding his arms tightly against his chest.

“You ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine, everything’s fine, why wouldn’t I be fine? Do I not look fine? I mean...how’re you?”

Kirby stepped away from Ned, eyebrows raised as he slid off his backpack.

“You are giving off a seriously weird energy right now, and I’m not sure what to do about it.”

“Nothing, Kirby,” Ned repeated acidly, “because everything, as I just said, is positively, completely, and utterly fucking _fine_.”

And he spun on his heel and stalked towards the front door as Kirby called after him,

“It’s raining pretty hard out there!”

“Thank you for the weather update!” Ned replied sarcastically without turning around.

And now he was out in a field behind the shop, at the edge of Kepler, tall grass whipping at his legs, glaring miserably at nothing in particular as the rain soaked him through.

And why should he even care anyway? Who gave a damn what Duck or anyone for that matter thought of him? Fuck them. They didn’t know him, they didn’t know his life.

 _If they did, then they_ definitely _wouldn’t want anything to do with you._

“Oh, shut up,” he muttered to himself, “I’m an absolute delight.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Aubrey has a theory, (and some lingering PTSD) and I severely abuse the power of italics.

“I’m getting kind of worried about Mama and Barclay,” Aubrey said. She’d started to snap her fingers, an old anxious habit, before stopping herself. As the rain had continued to come down, she and Dani had finally gone back inside and were enjoying a discreet snuggle by the fire in the main lobby, which was empty for once. 

No more snapping, not indoors, not near a fire. Can’t do that anymore, not since she’d learned how to make her fingers a human Bic lighter. Had to be more careful, had to be more mindful. 

She didn’t notice Dani noticing this abruptly stopped tic, the other girl mentally filing it away to gently ask about later. Aubrey, Dani thought to herself, was a mess of contradictions. Boldly confident in herself one moment, quiet and unsure the next. She was open and straightforward, with her heart on her sleeve, but somehow also hiding secrets that she had folded tight and tiny like intricate origami, locked away in unseen parts of herself.

And Dani wasn’t going to push. Lord knows there was so much that she was holding back as well, so much she still couldn’t bring herself to talk about. About her family, her home, how she’d ended up here. It was all still too raw to be poked at. She could sense that Aubrey understood this, that her lack of questions was a deliberate act of caring and not carelessness. So Dani watched her carefully, trying to sort out what would help to talk about, and what would only hurt.

“I wouldn’t worry too much,” she replied, “It’s still early yet, and those two are the toughest folks I’ve ever known, human, sylph or otherwise,” she said with a small, admiring smile. “They’re probably just stuck somewhere trying to wait out the rain.”

“I hope so,” Aubrey murmured, trying to take comfort in Dani’s words. She certainly knew them better than Aubrey did, so she’d try not to worry until Dani did, squirming slightly to adjust her position as she lay against her.

“Where’d Duck and Ned get off to, anyway?” Dani asked, clearly trying to change the subject. As obvious a tactic as it was, Aubrey was still grateful for it.

“They went to go drink and be old or something,” she said, “Duck said he was going somewhere else but I saw them walk off together. I think…” she paused, waggling her eyebrows suggestively for effect, “that they might be into each other.”

Dani snorted skeptically. “Really? I always got the vibe that Duck wasn’t really the type to be into anyone, and also if Ned had the hots for someone, I think we’d all know,” she laughed before adding, “I mean, no one would ever accuse Ned Chicane of bein’ subtle.”

“You don’t know them like I do,” Aubrey argued, warming to her theory, “I’ve learned a lot about how both of them are when they think no one’s paying attention. I’m _very_ observant like that,” she said, in that same fake-serious tone she’d used earlier with Ned.

“But really, they’re like,” she paused, trying to think of the right words, “they’re like my weird, awesome uncles. Like, Duck’s the uncle that teaches you how to do your taxes and Ned’s the uncle that buys you illegal fireworks and sets them off with you.”

“That doesn’t exactly sound like the perfect match,” Dani pointed out, still laughing quietly in between her words.

“Pssh,” Aubrey scoffed, “Ok first, opposites attract, like, obviously. Second, my field research, for your consideration: Ned is the only person that Duck lets tease him.”

“I’m pretty sure Duck lets you tease him,” Dani pointed out.

“Yeah but he always looks at me like, well, like a disappointed uncle. Ned is probably the only person who can make Duck smile or even laugh by teasing him. And Duck also lets Ned touch him. Like, Duck is not a touchy-feely dude, he’s not a hugger, you know?”

“Not like you?” Dani said with a grin.

“No, which is what makes being his friend very difficult because oh my gosh does he need a hug and I give _awesome_ hugs. But Ned, on the other hand, is a super touchy guy. To be fair, I think most of it is from him doing his like, Used Car Salesman Thing, trying to shake your hand and squeeze your shoulder and get you to believe that he’s not totally full of it.”

“Even though he is?”

“Even though he super is,” Aubrey agreed, “but Duck lets him do it. Like, put his arm around him or give him like, a manly chuck on the shoulder or whatever.”

“Well then what makes you think Ned has a thing for Duck?”

Aubrey shifted again so that she could turn and look at Dani, getting briefly distracted by the way the fire seemed to highlight the gold in her eyes. She blinked and swallowed hard, forcing her brain back on topic.

“So this is the really important bit, ok? Every single time that Ned’s not been a weenie and done something really brave and super dangerous, it’s been to protect Duck. When we killed the gross black goo bom-bom, Ned shot at it after it hit Duck, and then, after Duck tried to like, tackle it? He got pretty hurt and then Ned literally jammed a walking stick down its throat, its _throat_ , Dani! And then I lit the stick on fire and it was super sick.”

“But anyway, then we fought Aqualung in the hot springs and Duck almost drowned and Ned did his Ned thing where he kinda wimped out, but you could tell he felt really shitty about it and when we fought it again in the water park and it knocked Duck unconscious, Ned straight killed it, all on his own! And _then_ , when Duck was in the grocery store and the Pizza Hut sign was -”

Aubrey stopped for a second, her voice getting stuck. 

_Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it. It was an accident, he’s fine, don’t think about it._

She cleared her throat and kept going, hoping that pause wasn’t as obvious as it felt.

“When it looked like Duck was gonna...gonna get crushed by the Pizza Hut sign, Ned put on this janky jet-pack we got from the giant cat wizard in Sylvaine and literally mashed himself into the sign to try to save him. Which, don’t get me wrong, was really stupid, but was also pretty brave.”

“Wow,” Dani said, genuine surprise in her voice, “you really might be on to something after all.”

“See?” Aubrey replied excitedly, eager to leave that last memory behind her, “they’re totally into each other and I don’t think either of them even knows it! Which means…”

“Oh no, Aubrey don’t say it,”

“We have to show them! We have to uh, whatsit? We have to Parent Trap them!”

Dani raised an eyebrow, “Aubrey, I have a very limited knowledge of pop culture Earth stuff but I’m like, almost 100% sure you’re not using that right.”

Aubrey made a face, idly playing with Dani’s hair as she thought.

“Hmmm...you might be right. Maybe we need to Sleepless in Seattle them? Man, why are these so old? Why don’t they make wacky romantic comedies about lying to get people to realize they like each other anymore?”

“Probably because it’s a terrible idea.”

Aubrey heaved an especially theatrical sigh, flopping down further until her head was resting in Dani’s lap.

“I mean, I _guess_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno where this is coming from, but it's flying out of me and hopefully will continue to do so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ned comes dangerously close to having an epiphany

“Ok, this is stupid,” Ned muttered as rain dripped down from his hair into his eyes, as if saying it out loud would cement it more firmly. 

After all, Duck had said a true thing...a true thing that had fucking _sucked_ to hear and had hurt Ned a frankly surprising amount. It wasn’t like this was the first time someone had accused him of being a coward and while he didn’t wear it like a badge of honor the same way he did “con-artist,” “shyster,” and “Key West’s Annual Ernest Hemingway Look-alike Contest Runner-Up,” it wasn’t exactly something he denied either.

So why had hearing it from Duck riled him up so much? 

Maybe because he had started to let himself think he could actually hang when it came to fighting abominations, that he had something useful to contribute besides “has car.” Maybe because it was one thing to have been Duck’s occasional drinking buddy but another to have his respect. 

And maybe because honestly, it wasn’t even really completely true, as Ned so helpfully pointed out by losing his cool and screaming at one of the small handful of people in Kepler that did more than just tolerate him, that actually _liked_ him. 

Maybe. 

Maybe he didn’t. Maybe Duck saw Ned for the fraud that he was and spent just as much time as Ned did wondering why the hell this old asshole with no powers and no spine and no useful skills was running around with him and Aubrey. Maybe - 

No. If that was true, why would Duck ever hang out him with outside of their monster-hunting activities? Why would he make the effort of faking a laugh at something Ned said if he didn’t think it was funny? Why would Duck share secret soup recipes and quiet admissions of guilt and fear with someone he didn’t even like?

He wouldn’t, was the answer. Because Duck was his friend and the only reason that Ned was even entertaining these doubts was because if he could pretend that Duck had actually really hated him all along, then he wouldn’t have to admit that he probably had fucked up a little and should go apologize.

Which he should. And he would. 

He’d call Duck and try get him to meet up somewhere. He would be extremely penitent. He wouldn’t blow it and risk losing one of the few friends he’d managed to keep for anything approaching a significant length of time. 

Ned felt in his pockets for his phone and groaned, realizing he’d left it back inside. He really didn’t feel like going back in and talking to Kirby, who would inevitably have invasive questions like “why were you standing alone in the rain for half an hour?” and “what the hell is wrong with you, you old weirdo?” and Ned was in a shit enough mood as it was without Kirby pestering him. 

He figured he may as well just head straight to Duck’s apartment. It was the ranger’s day off, Ned remembered, and so it made the most sense that he’d be there. In fact, maybe it was better that way, with the sight of Ned on his front steps, soaking wet and remorseful, Duck would have to have a heart of stone to not at least let him in and hear him out. Just gotta dial up those old puppy-dog eyes. That still worked, right?

Of course it did.

Ned turned the collar of his coat up for all the good it did him (which was none) and set off walking. 

Jesus, he really missed his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We stan one idiot crime man


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kepler's Favorite Bug Man makes an appearance

“...Ok, this is stupid.”

Duck had managed to putter around his apartment for a full fifteen minutes after the rain started, pointlessly rearranging the mess of paperwork, books, and junk mail on his coffee table before he finally stood up, jaw set. 

He knew what he needed to do, he’d known as soon as he’d said it to Minerva, really. Fights never sat well with Duck and even if Ned was a human bullshit-machine, he was still Duck’s friend and had, in fact, flung his dumb ass into a Pizza Hut sign for him. So there was nothing else to do but go apologize. 

Duck started up his car and headed towards the Cryptonomica, wipers swishing rhythmically back and forth. He squinted through the downpour and saw what looked like a familiar figure along the side of the road, huddled pathetically under the leaking plastic roof of a covered bus stop. Duck pulled up, rolling down the passenger window.

“Indrid, that you?”

And Indrid Cold, née Mothman, poked his head out from under the overhang, his scrawny frame swallowed by what had to be at least four large, overly-long coats.

“Duck Newton! What a lovely surprise, and a surprising surprise! I didn’t see you coming but yes, I would very much like a lift.”

Duck closed his mouth, swallowing the question Indrid had answered before he’d had the chance to ask. Talking with the Mothman was always a mildly frustrating experience, but Duck figured it had to be at least twice as much so on Indrid’s end, and so he tried not to make a thing of it.

Indrid gratefully climbed into the passenger seat, steaming gently in front of the heater. 

“Grocery store,” he said at the exact moment Duck asked, “where to?”

“Right yeah, ok,” Duck said as he changed direction. It wasn’t like it was all that far out of his way or that Ned was likely to be going anywhere. 

“What are you -”

“What am I doing out here? Well, you know what they say, nog doesn’t buy itself.”

Duck grit his teeth and tried to remember that thing about these conversations being more annoying for Indrid.

“Pretty sure no one says that, actually. But what I meant was, why are you out walking? Your house is literally a car.”

“Oh,” Indrid responded, sounding vaguely dazed, “fair point. In answer to _that_ question, I haven’t moved the Winnebago in close to a decade now and I can’t see any future where trying to get it on the road again doesn’t end very badly.”

Duck chuckled despite himself, “asked and answered, I guess.”

“I hope I haven’t put you out of your way,” Indrid said, wiping a damp sleeve uselessly across his glasses.

“Nah, it’s no problem, I was just -”

“Going to see Ned Chicane,” Indrid finished before cocking his head to the side and uttering a decidedly concerned-sounding, “hmmm.”

“What was that about?” Duck asked, worried rather than relieved that he’d managed to get a full question out.

“Just...seeing some things,” Indrid answered evasively.

“Hey, what do you mean? What’s gonna happen? Is Ned ok?”

“Ned is fine,” Indrid answered, although he drawled it out far too slowly for Duck’s liking, “it’s just…”

“Indrid, I swear to god I will drop you right back at the bus stop.”

Indrid’s thin eyebrows flattened until they were hidden behind his glasses, his forefingers pressed against his chin. 

“It’s just that your trip to Ned’s could go a variety of interesting ways, but it all depends on the timing.”

“What do you -”

“What I mean is that _when_ you get to Ned’s is going to have a very big impact on what exactly will happen afterward.”

“Well, Indrid, that sure is -”

“Cryptic and unhelpful. And here is the grocery store.”

Indrid stepped out of the car, turning to face Duck as he did.

“Thank you for the ride, Duck. And I’d suggest you hurry to the Cryptonomica...maybe. Or...or maybe not.”

He tugged at a lock of his unkempt, greying hair, looking genuinely disconcerted, “I’m...I’m sorry, I’m not doing this on purpose, I’m just not sure what the best outcome is here. I want to help.”

“It’s ok, buddy,” Duck said, trying to calm Indrid down now that it was obvious he was clearly distressed, “I’m just gonna go head to Ned’s like I planned and it’s gonna be what it’s gonna be. Hey, I ever give you my number?”

Indrid shook his head and Duck quickly scrabbled through his glove compartment for a pen and a scrap of paper. 

“I know you like to be all mysterious and shit, calling us on whatever phone we happen to be by at the time and all, but it’d probably be more convenient for everyone if you just give me a ring direct next time you get a pertinent vision or whatever. Sound good?”

Indrid nodded, again not saying anything as he took Duck’s number and slipped it into one of his many coat pockets. However exasperating trying to hold a conversation with him may have been, Indrid’s sudden silence made Duck nervous and so the park ranger just nodded at the other (moth)man and closed the car door, driving a bit faster than was probably safe in this weather, assuring himself that when he got to the Cryptonomica everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm awake and depressed, here's more chapters :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mama makes her return and Ned continues to be a human disaster.

It was getting on in the afternoon when Mama and Barclay finally returned to Amnesty Lodge looking wet, tired, and fairly worse for wear. Dani and Aubrey leapt up, both looking mildly embarrassed, like they’d been caught goofing off, despite the fact that there wasn’t anything in particular they were meant to have been doing. There was just something about Mama’s constant air of intensity that made it feel that way. 

“What happened?” Aubrey asked as Dani darted to the back to find clean towels for them, “we ran into Rocky -”

“Who?” Mama interrupted, confused.

“Oh, right, yeah,” Aubrey stuttered, trying not to laugh because this really didn’t seem like the time for it, even though she could feel an oddly hysterical giggle winding its way up her throat, “we named it Rocky. Because it’s rocks.”

There was a brief but uncomfortable pause that was broken by Dani’s reemergence with several fluffy white towels, which the two senior Pine Guard members took thankfully, Barclay roughly toweling his head in a way that made Aubrey think of a big Irish wolfhound, which only made it harder to keep a straight face.

“Um, but yeah, so, Rocky. We ran into him this morning and he kicked our butts pretty good. My fire didn’t seem to bother him and Duck’s sword really didn’t do anything except whine about getting his edge dulled. And then it disappeared, which was weird, because, y’know, rocks.”

Her report completed, Aubrey waited for Mama to finish drying off and provide her and Barclay’s side of the story. They moved to one of the couches, Mama apparently able to convey something to Barclay with only a look that he responded to with a firm nod and proceeded to head towards the back employee area.

“We patrolled our end and hadn’t come up with anything worth writin’ home about, then the rain started comin’ down and so we were drivin' back when uh, Rocky, just kinda blinked into existence right in the middle of the fuckin’ road and slammed its...hand, I ‘spose? Whatever you’d call it, right into the front of the truck. Smashed it right to shit.”

Mama looked properly pissed as she recalled this and Aubrey had the thought that the past few months had seem some serious automotive casualties. She hoped nothing happened to Duck’s truck, or they’d have to start taking the bus to go fight abominations. 

“Barclay n’me jumped out and got chased for a good bit, hid in a little cave just off the trail while it thrashed around, lookin’ for something. Maybe it was just us, but I got a hunch there’s more to it than that. Anyway, it pulled the same disappearing act y’all saw and then we hoofed it back here. We’ll have to check if there’s anything on Thacker’s computer about a teleportin’ rock monster because, frankly, I’m stumped.”

Despite the warmth in the lobby provided by the fire, Aubrey found herself shivering. That was never something good to hear. Still, they’d fought more confusing things, they’d figure it out. Probably. Hopefully.

“Hey,” Mama said suddenly, jerking Aubrey out her thoughts, “where the hell are Ned n’Duck?”

\-------------------

 

“What do you mean, he’s not here?”

Leo Tarkesian, Duck’s neighbor and former owner of what used to be Leo’s General Store, could only shrug in response as Ned Chicane swung his arms out wildly, sending drops of water flying all over the carpet.

“You only missed him by a bit, he left like fifteen, twenty minutes ago.”

Ned, who didn’t appear to be listening, flopped down into a chair without asking, immediately soaking the cushion as Leo twitched slightly.

“Do you know how long I stood out there psyching myself up? For nothing! Inconsiderate is what it is.”

“Yeah, sure,” Leo replied, his eyes on the cushion, the carpet, and everything else in his apartment currently making contact with Ned, “d’you want like, a towel or..?”

“No, no, no,” Ned replied, standing back up with an unnecessary flourish that spattered rainwater across Leo’s coffee table as well as everything _on_ Leo’s coffee table, “I’d hate to be any trouble.”

“Of course you would,” Leo sighed, grimacing slightly.

“Where would he even _go_?” Ned muttered, as though the thought of Duck being anywhere but at work, home, or with Ned and Aubrey was entirely outside the realm of possibility. 

“That is the million dollar question,” Leo replied, rolling his eyes, “look, Ned, I don’t wanna put you out,”

“Oh, don’t even worry about it, Leo,” Ned answered, still not paying attention.

“But I need to put you out.”

“Eh?”

“Get out of my house, Ned,” Leo repeated firmly, helpfully holding the front door open.

“Ah, right, of course. Back once more into the breach, into the ‘sturm and drang,’ as it were, to -”

“Jesus Christ, Ned, just take an umbrella,” Leo cut in, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand and taking out a cherry-red umbrella from a stand by the door with the other, “you’re gonna catch pneumonia or something.”

Ned took the proffered umbrella with a grin, “Thanks, Leo. And don’t worry, your generosity will not go unrewarded!” He dug around in his pockets and produced a sopping piece of paper with writing made illegible by smeared, cheap ink.

“That’s a BOGO coupon for the Cryptonomica gift shop,” Ned said as he deposited the wet lump into Leo’s hands, “...maybe just, y’know, run a blowdryer over it first.”

“Ned -”

“Right, right, getting out.”

Outside, Ned opened up the umbrella and stood in front of Duck’s building, wondering what to do next. Suddenly, he smacked his palm against his forehead, feeling like an idiot.

_The lodge, stupid! Obviously._

Mama and Barclay must’ve come back and called them over. Ned frowned, thinking. He really _should_ go back to the Cryptonomica and get his phone. But at this point, from Duck’s apartment, it was a shorter walk to just keep going to Amnesty Lodge, where there would be a nice, warm fire and potentially a Barclay to harass for some soup or something. 

And also whatever abomination business to deal with, but maybe, just maybe after that, he’d be able to get Duck alone and properly apologize.

With that in mind, Ned set off in the direction of the lodge, glad for the umbrella, but still deeply mourning the loss of his car. On the bright side, it was probably the most exercise he’d gotten in ages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know the layout/relative distance of various landmarks in Kepler and I refuse to learn so just go with it. Also, I promise this fic isn't just about Ned and Duck managing to keep just missing each other. Shit's about to pop off next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Duck makes a discovery.

Duck pulled up to the Cryptonomica, shaking the rain out of his hair after making the dash from the parking lot to the entrance. It was still just as empty as when he had left, only it appeared that Ned had been swapped for Kirby, installed in his usual corner, typing away on his laptop and already surrounded by a considerable amount of empty soda cans.

“Hey, Kirby, is Ned around?”

The young man started at the sound of Duck’s voice, jerking his gaze away from the computer screen.

“Shit! Sorry, Mr. Newton, you scared the crap out of me. I was really in the zone with this new bit for the Lamplighter. You hear about this weird rockslide stuff people are talking about? I know it sounds crazy, but it seems like -”

“I’m sure it’s real interestin’,” Duck assured Kirby as he cut him off, “but I’m looking for Ned, is he in?”

“No, don’t think so,” Kirby replied, slightly crestfallen at Duck’s disinterest in possible rock-based paranormal activity in Kepler, “he had a bug up his ass about something and stormed out a while ago.”

“Thanks anyway, ‘spose I should just give him a call.”

Duck pulled out his phone and tapped the screen to call Ned as he walked back towards the door, only to hear the telltale sound of Ned’s ringtone, that annoying, default jingle that he’d never bothered to change, emanating from behind the front register. 

“He must’ve forgot it,” Kirby said before adding, “he might also be in the back, though. He comes in through there sometimes so he doesn’t look stupid if he has to come right back in after making one of his ‘dramatic exits,’” he explained, rolling his eyes and making air quotes as he did.

He then picked up his backpack and shuffled through it until he located a small ring of keys, which he tossed to Duck.

“The one with the orange top’ll get you into the Chicanery and all his weird, old man biz.”

“Thanks, Kirby,” Duck said as he fumbled to catch the keys, “I’m surprised Ned lets you have these.”

Kirby shrugged, looking sheepish, “He keeps threatening to change the lock ever since I went in there to get the Bigfoot tape for that Agent Mulder-lookin’ cop guy, but I guess he keeps forgetting, and I’m definitely not gonna remind him, you know?”

“Right,” Duck muttered, not wanting to think about Agent Stern and the issue of his continued presence in town. He moved purposefully to the back of the Cryptonomica, through the “employees only” door to the cluttered back room with shelves of full of t-shirts, bobble-heads, and other merch, along with old and battered former exhibits, including a sloppily sewn-together jackalope that gave Duck the heebie-jeebies.

He made a face and shook his head, knocking on the door at the far end of the room.

“Ned? You there? I, uh...I just want to talk. With you, obviously. About, y’know earlier, and stuff.”

Duck winced even as he spoke. Jesus, that sounded bad. Why couldn’t he just say words like a person and not an idiot? 

There was no response, which could mean a number of things: that Ned actually was gone, or that he was still sulking, or that he was deep enough in there, maybe even in the cramped apartment that was connected to the store, that he couldn’t hear Duck.

“Ok, Ned, I’m gonna uh, I’m gonna come in, I guess.”

And he did, unlocking the door and closing it behind him, sidling his way between towers of old boxes, overflowing with dusty junk. Duck wondered how much crap someone needed to accumulate before it qualified as hoarding.

“Ned?”

Still no answer. 

As Duck attempted to wind his way through the Chicanery, he remembered how he’d spooked Kirby just a few minutes ago and, not wanting to scare Ned out of his wits by randomly stumbling into him, made a point to try and make more obvious noise, alternating calling Ned’s name with knocking his elbows into some of the boxes, creating a pretty decent racket.

Maybe a little too much racket, as Duck thought he heard something and quickly whirled around, only to smack into a stack of boxes, sending them and their contents scattering to the ground with a crash.

“Shit!”

“Mr. Newton, Duck?” He heard Kirby call from what seemed like a mile away, “everything all right?”

“Yeah, it’s - it’s fine!” Duck yelled back, “I just uh, kinda bumped a thing, but nothing broke or anything - I mean, something _might’ve_ , but I don’t think...look, just don’t come back here!”

_Good lord, Duck._

He quickly tried to shovel the various bric-a-brac back into their boxes, choking on several lungfuls of dust as he did. Well, at least that meant that if he _had_ broken something, Ned was unlikely to ever notice.

Down on his hands and knees, he dumped another armload of stuff into a box and was briefly distracted by what he was pretty sure was an Oscar statuette before noticing a different item by his left shoe.

It was a necklace, with a heavy pendant hanging off a long, thick chain. He picked it up, gingerly wiping a layer of dust off the stone (was it still called that when it was in jewelry and not in like, a rock face? Like amber or topaz or something?).

Duck had a lot of different pet peeves. They were all pretty minor ones, but there were more of them than most people who knew him would probably think. One that he knew was stupid but still bugged him anyway was that whenever someone in a TV show or movie was alone and discovered something strange they always muttered “that’s weird” or some equivalent out loud. 

And Duck wasn’t an idiot, he got why they did it. The audience can’t read their mind, they gotta say _something_ , but who does that? Who feels the need to verbally state the obvious when there isn’t even anyone else around to hear it? It just annoyed him was all.

But as Duck examined the necklace, he was struck by the familiarity of it. He’d never seen it before, but he’d definitely seen something like it. Several somethings, in fact. It looked like the charms the sylphs wore, the bracelets, rings, and whatnot. It looked like it could have been pried right off the heart of Sylvain. 

And almost automatically, Duck heard himself saying, to no one in particular,

“Well, _that’s_ weird.” 

\-------------------

 

At the Eastwood Campground and RV Park on the outskirts of Kepler, Indrid Cold had just thrown open the door to his Winnebago and sighed with relief and exhaustion as he was greeted with the warm blast of an extremely hazardous amount of space heaters. 

He dropped his grocery bags full of eggnog cartons to the floor, closed the door and began to peel off his many damp layers of outerwear when he suddenly stopped, one sleeve still on while the other hung dangling. Indrid inhaled sharply, pupils dilating behind his glasses and shrinking down to pinpricks nearly just as quickly.

With the kind of reckless urgency you’d expect from someone running to the restroom after some particularly bad shrimp, Indrid tripped over his discarded coats and abandoned eggnogs, bolting to the other end of the trailer to snatch a sheet of paper from a haphazard pile and scrambling for a pencil. He flopped down in front of his fold-out table, sketching feverishly, his hand practically a blur. 

_Whoo boy,_ he thought, his whole body vibrating with a kind of internal electricity, _this is gonna be a wild one._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got too excited to wait and double-updated. Anyway, buckle up, folks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned talks with Aubrey while simultaneously torturing himself because he's a multi-tasker like that.

Ned made a sweeping entrance into Amnesty Lodge, still dripping wet despite the umbrella, which he swung in front of him like a fancy walking stick before Barclay strode by and unceremoniously swatted him in the face with a towel, grabbing the umbrella.

“Quit flinging that around, you big, wet weirdo,” he said.

“Ah, Barclay! Just the man I wanted to see!” 

“Oh god, I hope not,” Barclay replied, rolling his eyes as he placed the umbrella in the stand by the door.

“As you can tell, I’ve spent much of the day battling the elements, due to the tragic loss of my Lincoln Continental, as you might recall,”

“I might.”

“Anyway, the thing that kept me going through the wind and the rain and the cold was the thought that my very good friend Barclay would be at the lodge to whip me up some of his famous chicken soup.”

“Not only is my chicken soup not famous, we don’t even have that on the menu,” Barclay replied, his face somewhere between confused and amused.

“Then how about some of your finest -”

“No.”

“Cheapest bourbon?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

And Barclay went to head behind the bar, waiting until his back was turned to Ned to wink and pull a face at Aubrey and Dani, who did their best not to laugh. Attempting to dry himself off, Ned flopped down next to Aubrey, tussling her carefully-styled hair.

“Hiya, kid.”

Aubrey reflexively ducked out from under him, laughing, “Ned, what the hell? You know how long it takes to get it like that?”

“Oh, sorry,” he said with a grin and absolutely zero sincerity, “I forgot you’re trying to make yourself look nice for your _girlfriend_.”

And Aubrey, blushing furiously, twitched a quick look backwards to ensure that Dani, who was deep in conversation with Moira, who had at some point floated downstairs, hadn’t heard her.

“Not funny!” she hissed quietly.

“It is extremely funny,” Ned corrected, nonetheless lowering his voice to a conspiratory level, “you know you like her, she knows she likes you, literally _everyone_ knows you two like each other, it’s ridiculous.”

“Well…” Aubrey drawled out, unable to keep a dopey smile from spreading across her face, “we may have kind of, sort of...kissed earlier. A bunch.”

Ned’s eyes widened and he was clearly about to make some kind unnecessarily loud and dramatic congratulations but a sharp look from Aubrey stopped him before he began, and instead he offered her a very discreet high-five.

“Nice!”

Aubrey laughed again and that small but ever-so-persistent voice in the back of Ned’s head reminded him that no matter how fond he was of Aubrey, that he wasn’t her friend, not really. He’d destroyed a major part of her life and had what he now knew was her mother’s necklace sitting in a box, well-hidden and, up until very recently, forgotten.

It hadn’t even been his fault, he’d been on a completely different floor of the house, had only seen Boyd bolt past him down the stairs, a wall of fire chasing after him. 

_But you were still there. You were complicit, you know it wouldn’t have happened if you both hadn’t broken in that night._

Ever since he’d overheard Aubrey telling Mama the story in the hospital, his half-conscious brain still cogent enough to put the pieces together, he’d spent many inebriated nights thinking about the necklace at the bottom of the box, trying to work up the nerve to return it to her, to formulate some kind of story of where he might’ve gotten it that didn’t make him the villain, the man responsible, at least in part, for why she didn’t have a mom anymore. But in the cold and sober light of the following morning, he would inevitably, selfishly, stay silent. 

_What would even be the point?_ He tried to reason, _it wouldn’t bring her mom back, it wouldn’t change anything._

Except it would, it would change everything between them, she would hate him and rightfully so and probably everyone else would too. How could they not? And then what would even be the point of staying? He’d be off and on his own again. Alone. 

Maybe it was better that way.

But for now he tried to just enjoy goofing with Aubrey and not think about it while also trying not to be repulsed by just how easy it was for him to do it.

“You must’ve gotten it because you’re here, but you never answered my text,” Aubrey said, breaking though Ned’s morose train of thought.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, y’know, busy. I’m here, right?”

Aubrey narrowed her eyes, suspicious, “What did it say?”

“Uhhh, Mama says come to the lodge, old man emoji, ufo emoji, three dollar signs.”

“Yeah but I put those emojis in every text I send to you,” Aubrey argued.

“Fine, I lost my phone somewhere, I think back at the Cryptonomica, and I’m here by a fortuitous coincidence...But then that means Duck should also be coming, right?”

And maybe he had said it just a little too quickly, with just shade too much concern in his voice, and while Ned couldn’t have known that he and Duck were a previous topic of conversation between Aubrey and Dani, he nonetheless immediately realized he’d made a mistake as Aubrey leaned in, chin resting on her folded hands, an unsettlingly knowing smile on her face.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Ned replied, feigning supreme casualness.

“I know you and Duck were hanging out or whatever before he went off and did his…” she trailed off, frowning as she tried to summon up some kind of descriptor for whatever magical side-hustle Duck was involved in.

“Thing?” Ned offered with a unhelpful shrug.

Aubrey shrugged back, having come up equally empty, “Yeah, before he went to his thing. Anyway, so, what happened?”

“Nothing happened!” Ned insisted, “Why does something have to have happened for me to casually inquire about Duck’s eventual arrival at the -”

“Ned,” Aubrey cut him off, “you’re doing that thing where you say like 30 words more than you need to and you only do that when you’re bullshitting.”

“That is patently false, and I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to also say slanderous,” he replied with what could only be described as a pout, “Sometimes I’m just feeling more eloquent than others. Is there something wrong with making use of everything the wonderful English language has to offer us?”

“What. Happened. With. Duck.”

Ned groaned in annoyance, realizing that she wasn’t going to let this go.

“We may have had a small...disagreement, back at the Cryptonomica. Things might’ve got, y’know, a little heated, and I was hoping for the chance to…” he paused and made a pained face, “apologize.”

This was apparently not what Aubrey had been expecting (or hoping) to hear and she patted Ned on the shoulder, “I’m sure it’s fine, it can’t have been that bad, it’s not like Duck actually gets mad. Like, for real mad. The angriest I’ve ever seen him was when he went on that rant about invasive plant species and even then, by the end he was basically apologizing to Japanese Honeysuckle and saying it wasn’t its fault someone brought it into the country.”

While she had obviously intended for this to be comforting, as Ned remembered the look of disgust on Duck’s face as he’d left, it only made him feel worse. 

“Aubrey,” he said slowly, not quite able to meet her eyes, “am I a coward?” before quickly, adding, “Wait, no, actually don’t answer that, that was a stupid question.”

But Aubrey shook her head, answering anyway and looking thoughtful as she did, “I mean, not _consistently_. You do have a tendency to uh, hide, and run away, and lock us out of panic rooms…”

Ned’s face fell and Aubrey kept going, her voice getting higher in mild panic as she tried to reassure him, “but you’ve also done some pretty badass stuff too! In fact, I was actually just talking to Dani earlier about how you got all up in the black goo bom-bom, and the water bom-bom, and the thing with the jet-pack -”

“Let’s maybe not mention the jet-pack,” Ned interrupted, wincing as he did.

“Fine, either way, maybe you’re not like, the bravest guy that ever lived, but we wouldn’t have been able to get through half the fights we have without you.”

“Thanks,” Ned muttered, “that...that helps.”

Aubrey’s features were pulled tight in concern, “was that what your fight with Duck was about?”

“Not in so many words...but kind of.”

“Well, it must’ve been a misunderstanding or something. Duck likes you a lot, Ned. You know that. You’re probably like, one of his closest friends.”

There was something about the way Aubrey said “friends,” with a strange, sly look (and while Aubrey may have been a better liar than Duck, she couldn’t quite pull off sly) that gave Ned pause.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Have you ever seen The Parent Trap, Ned?”

Ned raised an eyebrow, confused, “...No? When it comes to Lindsay Lohan’s oeuvre, I’m more of a Freaky Friday fan. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dani: "Aubrey no"
> 
> Aubrey: "AUBREY YES!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Duck really needs to take a deep breath and calm down but doesn't do either of those things.

Duck didn’t know exactly how long he’d been crouched on the floor of the Chicanery when he got a text from Aubrey that just said “pine guard meeting, Mama met Rocky,” with an upside down smiley-face emoji, an old lady emoji, a rock climbing emoji, and an emoji of a whale, which was quickly followed by another text, “oops wrong thing, meant” and an emoji of a duck with “lol it you.” 

This was not the first, third or even fifth time she’d done that, and the fact that it was so weirdly adorable and endearing was the only thing that kept Duck from threatening to throw her phone in a river. 

And so now he was driving to Amnesty Lodge, tires splashing through deep puddles huddled in curbs and corners, his thoughts the only thing going faster than the truck.

_Ok, ok, ok, ok, what do I do, what do I do? I give it to Mama, right? I mean this has to be some kind of Sylvain-type shit. But I can’t do it without telling Ned that I just strolled into his place and jacked his stuff. And he doesn’t have his goddamn phone because why would he ever make anything more convenient for anyone? And let’s be realistic here, it’s probably not his, who knows where he even got it from, but it’s not like he knew what it was, obviously, he’s had it a real long time. I bet he probably doesn’t even remember that it’s a thing he has. Maybe I don’t even have to say I found it at the Cryptonomica! But then where did I find it?_

_Fuck._

_Ok, ok, ok, maybe someone left it at my door. I just opened up my front door and boom, weird necklace sitting on the welcome mat. Crazy, who knows where it came from...yeah, ok. But then everyone’s gonna wonder who did it and we’re gonna have to go on this wild goose chase lookin’ for who might’ve done it and the whole time I’m gonna know it’s a lie and we might even have to go to Sylvain and I can’t lie to any of them, they’re magic! I can barely lie to people who aren’t magic!_

_Fuck!_

_Ok...ok...what if...I just hucked it at the window of the lodge real hard and ran for it? And Mama’d call me like “oh hey, Duck, something’ real weird just happened, you should come check this out.” And I wouldn’t even have to lie because no one would be asking me where I found it because I didn’t find it! But what if Agent Stern finds it first? I mean, that probably wouldn’t be too bad, he’d just think it was a regular necklace that someone lost and return it to the front desk or something. No big deal. But what if someone sees me doing it? What if someone’s in the room right by the window and they see me just hurl a piece of jewelry for no reason and then book it?_

_FUCK._

_Ok, I’d just have to wait and do it at night, when everyone’s asleep, then there’s no way that anyone would know that it was me. Perfect...But then what if no one notices it? What if I miss a window and it just kinda bounces off the building and into a shrub or something and no one finds it but I still know it’s there and have to what, just wait and not say anything and hope someone eventually finds it? It might be important. Well, maybe not that important I guess if it’s been collecting dust for so long without anyone missing it. I guess if I throw it at night and no one finds it I can just pretend to find it the next time I go to the lodge and be like, “hey, I just found this outside, does it belong to anybody here?” There we go. Now we’re cooking, foolproof._

_Ok, but what if it breaks when I throw it?_

“Hey, Duck, you all right in there, dude?”

This question, accompanied by several quick raps on the driver-side window, startled the living hell out him, made him jump and smack his head back against the headrest. He looked around and found himself in the parking lot of the Amnesty Lodge, so lost in his frantic planning that his muscle memory had taken over and he’d completed his drive to the lodge without even noticing. 

_Oh god_ , he thought, _How long have I been sitting here?_

He looked out the window, wild-eyed, to see Jake Coolice in a brightly-colored windbreaker, hair slicked down from the rain, with what looked like a skateboard tied to a kite held in the crook of one arm. Duck rolled down the window and Jake peered in, a look of vague concern on his face.

“You good, man? I was coming back from some sick storm-boarding, I’ll have to tell you about it later, it was radical as hell, and I saw you sitting there shaking your head and looking real weird for like, a few minutes now.”

Duck flushed red, embarrassed. 

“I was just - um, I didn’t realize, because I was...I just got a lot on my mind, Jake, you know?”

“Yeah, I feel you,” Jake replied breezily before adding, “hey, yo, what’s that? That looks like something from Sylvain!” poking his arm through the window to point at the large piece of jewelry, which lay sprawled on the passenger seat. “Where’d you find it? You should show it to Mama.”

“Yeah, that’s...uh, that’s actually what I’m here to do, Jake.”

_God fucking damn it._

Duck grabbed the necklace and walked into the lodge, stomach churning, Jake following behind him like a neon-patterned puppy dog. He walked into the lobby to find not only Mama but also Barclay, Aubrey, and, it fucking figured, Ned. Barclay was in his usual spot behind the counter, with the rest of them seated on the bar stools around it, some papers spread out in front of them next to half-empty plates of food. Dani and a few other sylphs were scattered across the room, occupied in various activities.

“Hey, Mama!” Jake yelled, dropping his skateboard contraption to the floor, “look at this thing Duck found!”

Duck, who could already feel himself starting to sweat, walked to the counter and carefully put the necklace down, where it rested for several seconds in a silence so pregnant it was about to start having contractions. 

Mama and Barclay mostly looked surprised. Duck had thought that, if he remembered that the necklace was his, Ned would be pissed, but instead he looked strangely nervous, maybe even frightened. And Aubrey, she looked like she’d just seen a ghost.

Wordlessly, Mama gestured for them all to follow her into her office, Duck picking the necklace back up as he did. They entered single-file, Jake groaning in disappointment as Mama closed the door before he could come in. 

Duck set it back down on Mama’s desk and as if a switch had been flipped there was suddenly a veritable flood of words, a flurry rapidly rolling into an avalanche of everyone talking over each other.

“That looks like -”

“Did you get that from -”

“D’you think it’s -”

“But who would even -”

“How did you -”

“When did you -”

“Where did you -”

“That’s my mom’s!” Aubrey practically yelled, everyone else falling immediately silent.

“That’s my mom’s necklace,” she repeated, much quieter, looking scared to touch it, like it might disappear if she tried to, but unable to tear her eyes away as she said with a shaking voice,

“That’s the Flamebright Pendant.”

Mama turned towards Duck, her face gravely serious.

“Duck, where’d you get this?”

“Well, you know, it’s the wildest thing,” he sputtered, “I found it in the parking lot outside, fuck, no, wait, that’s...that’s not true, I had...uh, someone had left it, outside my door? Like just tossed it onto the front stoop, I didn’t see who it was, I just lied right now because um, I felt bad that I didn’t see who left it, and I didn’t want to disappoint everyone, but y’know, it’s a real mystery, but I don’t, I don’t think we should try to find them? Because really they could be anywhere and there’s a rock monster on the loose and y’know, maybe he did it. Fuck, wait, no, that doesn’t make sense, why would he wear jewelry? I mean, I guess he could. We’re callin’ it a “he” and we don’t know that, it could be a lady rock monster, not that it would have to be a lady to be able to wear jewelry in the first -”

“It was at the Cryptonomica,” Ned interrupted before Duck could get any further into rock monster gender politics, “I had it in a box at the Cryptonomica, he must’ve found it there.”

“Oh Jesus, thank fuckin’ god,” Duck exhaled.

“How and why Duck was in the back of the Chicanery without me, I don’t know,” Ned continued sharply, “but that’s where it came from.”

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't listened to the new episode yet but happy Late TAZ Update Day, have another chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned thinks fast, Mama should've thought better, and Aubrey can barely think at all.

Aubrey felt like she was looking through binoculars, like her vision had tunneled down to just the necklace in front of her while everything outside of it faded to black. 

Her mom’s necklace.

She’d been doing such a good job too - mostly - of tamping down everything that the incident at Leo’s store had brought bubbling up to the surface. But now it was everywhere, it surrounded her and Aubrey could feel herself choking on the smoke, eyes stinging, throat scorched. She could see the pile of ash and half-burned bits of furniture where her home used to be, her dad’s face contorted in a scream but not making a single sound. And her mom’s necklace, given to her only hours ago, gone forever.

Except not, apparently. 

And she couldn’t process beyond that, was wrapped in too many layers of terrible memories to reach the questions of why and how. She could barely hear Duck’s gravelly voice pitching as he stumbled through an explanation.

“ -and your phone was there so Kirby wasn’t sure if you were maybe in the back and gave me the keys,”

A pause as Ned grumbled something unintelligible but most likely unfavorable towards his not-quite-assistant. 

“And when I was poking around I kinda knocked a box over by accident. I tried to pick it all up and then I saw that necklace lookin’ all sylvan and shit and figured I oughta bring it by. I’m sorry Ned, I woulda let you know but -”

“The phone, I know.”

“Aubrey?” 

She thought she heard someone calling her name, but was muffled, indistinct, buried under a heavy blanket of hot ash, drowned out by a ringing in her ears that grew louder and louder.

“Aubrey?”

What would happen if she touched it? Would it disappear? Would it burst into flame? Or would she?

“Aubrey!”

She started, snapped back into Mama’s office, sucking down air like she’d surfaced from a deep ocean dive. Mama, who had been calling her name, reached out and gently touched her shoulder.

“It’s ok. We’re here. It’s ok.” 

Everyone was staring at her and she felt sick and strange, wanted to disappear. Aubrey was sure that the fact that she never really mentioned her parents was enough to have clued most of the others in to the topic being crisscrossed with “Do Not Enter” caution tape, much like Duck’s mysterious magical extracurriculars. But still, only Mama knew the full story, understood why Aubrey was just barely managing to hold herself together.

She didn’t want to tell them, didn’t want to have to pull the whole horrible memory out of the depths of herself again, except that it wasn't hiding down deep. not anymore. It was on the desk, it was in the air, it was threatening to smother Aubrey until she couldn’t breathe.

“My mom,” Aubrey started, slowly and haltingly, almost straining with unseen effort to keep herself level, keep herself afloat, “...she isn’t around anymore. She gave me this, a long time ago. But then it got lost.”

She turned to Ned and only now did her other emotions, flattened by the shock of seeing the Flamebright Pendant, start waking up, and she looked at him and felt a deep, aching need that stabbed to the heart of her. Ned knew something she didn’t. He had to. Right?

“How did you get this, Ned?”

And even through the haze of the memories and the pain and the sickness still clawing at her, Aubrey could see that Ned was extremely uncomfortable. He rubbed at the back of his neck with one hand, the other hanging on to the edge of Mama’s desk, almost as if to keep himself steady. He looked down, up, everywhere except at Aubrey before eventually squaring his shoulders and giving her an answer.

“I stole it,” he said, and Aubrey felt her heart begin to hammer as he let those three words hang in the air for a moment before trying to explain.

“I’m sure you’re all familiar with the local gossip that I haven’t always been the most...law-abiding citizen -”

“There was an Oscar in the Chicanery, Ned,” Duck interrupted, “and you bragged about stealing from the guy who invented Nerf guns and also from Paul McCartney.”

“I know for a fact,” Barclay added, “that there are several fancy soaps from the lobby bathroom in your pocket, right now.”

Ned threw his hands in the air in exasperation, “Ok, yes, fine, I’m a thief! A mostly-retired thief! But, some years back, long before Kepler, I was a not-retired thief, and I had a partner named Boyd. ‘Partner’ might be a little too generous, really, brief business acquaintance is more accurate, but the point is that he was a nasty piece of work.”

Ned kept talking, his posture beginning to relax somewhat as he did. “We disagreed on some key methodologies. I didn’t like to carry a weapon and instead just preferred to rob empty places, whereas Boyd had no such compunction. I know he did some jobs like that without me. At some point, we got into an argument about, I dunno, something, and it came to blows. It may surprise you to hear, but he beat the hell out of me pretty good,”

Based on the general reaction of the room (or lack of one) it did not surprise them to hear.

“But I got lucky,” Ned continued, “he had this fancy vase that I think he had nabbed from a museum or something and he knocked me into the wall next to it. I grabbed it and smashed it over the big asshole’s head. Knocked him clean out. I couldn’t kill him. Whatever you all might think, that’s not...I don’t do that. What I did do was grab a bag and take every expensive-looking thing I could fit in it, one of those things being the necklace, and ran. I kept running, all the way to the middle of nowhere, where I figured he couldn’t find me. I sold a lot of what I stole from him, but never had the opportunity to try and fence the necklace. Especially out here in the sticks, I’d never get what it was worth, and it’s unique enough that it woulda painted a big old target on my back because any backwoods pawnshop yokel I would’ve tried selling it to would _definitely_ remember it and -”

Ned paused, realized he was rambling, and cleared his throat awkwardly before course-correcting.

“Anyway, I wound up at the Cryptonomica and your mother’s necklace wound up at the bottom of a box. In all honesty, I had forgotten I’d even had it. I’m...I’m really sorry, Aubrey.”

And Aubrey let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding, feeling a strange mix of relief and disappointment. Obviously she was glad that Ned’s role in the disappearance of her mom’s necklace was minor at best, but there was some small part of her that, against all logic, wished otherwise. Just so there could be someone else who saw, someone else who was there and could tell her what happened, give a version unstreaked by confusion, trauma, and time. But life didn’t work like that.

“It’s ok, Ned,” Aubrey replied, meaning it, “there’s literally no way you could’ve known. Did...did Boyd ever say anything about the necklace? About when he took it or anything that happened?”

“Uh, no. Sorry,” Ned shrugged, “it wasn’t really something I asked about.”

“Yeah, right, of course,” Aubrey murmured, finally letting her fingertips graze her mom’s most cherished piece of jewelry, her family history, a pile of mysteries that would probably stay unsolved forever.

And unsolved mysteries must’ve been on Mama’s mind as well, as Aubrey saw her start reaching for the necklace as she said, “Well, we need to find out where exactly this came from before it was your mom’s and why she had it. Barclay, we’ll probably need to cross-reference -”

“No!” Aubrey cried out, snatching the necklace away from Mama, clutching it to her chest. 

“Aubrey, it’s ok,” Mama repeated, hands out in front of her like she was trying to calm a spooked animal, “I’m not taking it away from you. It’s just for a little while so I can try to get to the bottom of this. It’s yours and it’s going to stay that way, I promise.”

Aubrey shook her head vigorously, stepping back. “No, no, no, no, no. I thought I’d never see this again, I thought it was gone forever, Mama, I can’t! Besides, my mom was human, _I’m_ human! Everyone’s said so, even the people in Sylvain, even the giant cat!”

“Which is exactly why we need to know what she was doing with a piece of the heart of Sylvain, Aubrey,” Mama replied just a little too sharply.

“What if you can’t find what you’re looking for here?” Aubrey asked, her voice getting higher and louder, “what if you have to take it to Sylvain and then they don’t let me have it back?”

“I wouldn’t let that happen -”

“No!” Aubrey yelled again, feeling like there was something underneath her skin, feverishly scratching its way to the surface.

“Ok,” Mama relented, trying to reach back out for Aubrey’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, I asked too soon. I should’ve waited, that was...unkind. Honey, you know I won’t let them -”

“Get out,” Aubrey interrupted before the older woman could finish, jerking herself away, her whole body shaking.

“Aubrey, this is my office.”

“Get out!” she yelled, feeling herself heating up, feeling everything heating up, smelling that deep acrid burn and Aubrey was too many layers deep, too far buried beneath the blackened rubble of her house to realize that she _was_ heating up, steam beginning to rise from her skin and she kept yelling.

“Get out! Please! Just get out and leave me alone!”

“Ok, ok, ok!” And Mama, Barclay, Duck, and Ned all quickly hustled themselves out of Mama’s office, closing the door behind them. Finally alone, Aubrey sank to the ground, let herself unspool, and the tears finally came, hot, heavy, and fast, practically burning her face as she cried, holding her mom’s necklace so tight it left marks on her palms. They were tears of joy and pain so confusingly intermingled. She’d gotten a piece of her mom back that she thought she never would, but it was also a symbol of the wrongness of it all, of the fact that her mom was gone and it was probably all Aubrey’s fault.

 _If you let Mama take it,_ she thought to herself, _maybe you could finally learn something new. Maybe there’s more to this story that you just don’t know yet._

_...But what if it’s something I don’t want to know? What if it makes everything worse than it already is?_

Aubrey roughly scrubbed at her eyes, dragging her sleeve across her face as she stared into the deep, rich color of the pendant. 

_How could it possibly be worse?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like hurting my poor perfect girl but damn man, don't tell me that when this finally happens in canon that it's not gonna fuck her right up.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Duck (mostly) overcomes his awkwardness and is a good big bro/uncle-type dude

Aubrey had been sitting slumped against the wall for what felt like hours, her mind empty and numb, all the emotions finally wrung out of her. She jerked upright at a knock on the door, the fairly gentle noise nonetheless seeming to ricochet across the empty office.

Aubrey wondered if it was Mama, if she would try to apologize, if she had told the others about Aubrey’s mom, tried to explain why she’d reacted the way she had. Aubrey half-hoped for this, if only because it meant she wouldn’t have to do it herself, keep reliving that night again and again. 

But, surprisingly, it was Duck’s voice and not Mama’s that softly asked “Can I come in?” from the other side of the door.

“Yeah, sure.” Aubrey answered, her voice flat.

Duck slowly eased the door open, closing it behind him and sitting down on the floor next to Aubrey, facing straight ahead. 

“You ok, kid?”

“Yeah.”

Duck turned to face her, not saying anything but raising an eyebrow, to which Aubrey replied, “No, I’m not. But I’m slightly less shitty than I was a little while ago.”

Duck nodded, “Ok. That’s a start.”

“Are you here to tell me that I need to be an adult and let Mama borrow my mom’s necklace to figure out what it is?”

“Hell no!” Duck said, the amount of force in his voice taking Aubrey by surprise, “Look, if I had known what it was, Aubrey, what it meant to you, I wouldn’tve told anyone about it, I woulda just given it to you. Like, maybe it’s something important, but it’s been sitting in Ned’s place for ages and was with your mom for however long before that and it doesn’t seem like it’s affected anything so, y’know, what’s the big deal?”

This was a lot of words at once for Duck and he paused to pick some nonexistent lint off his shirt before adding, “All I’m saying is that if you don’t want to hand it over to anyone, even temporarily, I’ve got your back. I’m on your side.”

“Thanks,” Aubrey said softly, still mostly keeping her gaze forward. “Did Mama tell you guys? Y'know, about my mom and everything?”

“No,” Duck answered, “she said you had told her not too long ago but that she didn’t feel like it was her place to share without your say so. And you don’t have to tell me neither if you don’t want to. You’ve never pushed me and I’m not gonna push you.”

“No,” Aubrey said, suddenly coming to a decision, “No, I...I want to tell you.”

She took a deep breath, taking a moment to wipe her eyes again before she started, halting at first, and then faster and faster, as if she had to get it all out before she exploded. 

“When I was getting ready to leave home for the first time to try and be a magician, like, the actual night before I was going to leave, I got into a fight with my parents because they thought I was making a mistake. They were just worried about me but it still hurt, it felt like they didn’t believe in me. But then my mom talked to me afterwards, she said she knew I could do anything, and she gave me the Flamebright Pendant. She told me it had been in our family for basically ever and, and I’d never even seen her take it off, not ever in my life and except for right then, when she gave it to me as a going-away present.”

This was the hard part, this was the knife that twisted itself all up in her guts, that bit into her rib cage and stayed stuck there. Taking it out meant fresh bleeding, meant having to wait for the wound to close up all over again, but maybe this would make it smaller, would make removing the knife less painful the next time she’d have to do it.

“That night, someone - Boyd, I guess - broke into the house...I think there might have been someone else too but I had tried to run after him and tripped and hit my head and knocked myself out, so it’s all kind of blurry. When I woke up though, everything was on fire. And my magic, my fire powers, had never appeared or done anything before that night. Not ever. But the fire started on the second floor, where I was, and Boyd was on the first, I think. And my Dad made it out...but my mom didn’t. And it was awful enough on its own, I couldn’t...I knew I could never go back home.”

“But then, when we were trying to help Mr. Tarkesian and my powers fucked up and I thought I’d killed you, it all just came back, it all came back so clear and so strong and even if I’d kinda always known deep down, that was when it all sort of fell into place and I...I think I killed my mom, Duck. And I’m never gonna one hundred percent know for sure, but I really think I did.”

And Aubrey had started crying all over again, silent tears that slid easily down her face.

“I’m sorry, Aubrey,” Duck finally said, his voice hollow at the uselessness of the words. He pursed his lips, clearly thinking hard about something before raising his arms slightly, his whole posture painfully awkward.

“Do...d’you want a hug?”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m offerin’ ain’t I?”

And Aubrey all but mashed herself into Duck, squeezing him tightly. Duck slowly lowered his arms around her, hugging back.

“I’m so scared, all the time now,” she said, her voice muffled as her face was pressed into the front pocket of Duck’s shirt. “Of my powers messing up again, of hurting someone or worse. I’m scared to let my feelings get too -” she waved her hands around, unable to find the right words, “y’know, all over the place or whatever. So I’m like, extra weird around Dani and stuff too. I’m just scared.”

They stayed like that for a while, huddled together on the floor of Mama’s office until Aubrey slowly withdrew, moving back to her original spot. Duck tried to disguise the faint look of relief at the hug being over but didn’t quite manage it. He swallowed hard, looking even more thoughtful now, his face screwed into something like a frown. Finally, his features settled and he leaned back against the wall.

“I know how you feel,” Duck said with a sigh, “I mean, kind of, anyway. About being scared. You told me your thing, and it looked like hell but you did it, and so I guess it’s only fair I tell you mine.”

“You don’t have to,” Aubrey protested before Duck cut her off, repeating Aubrey’s words back at her.

“No, I want to tell you. Y’see, uh,” he stopped, scratching nervously at his stubble, “man, I’ve never had to say this out loud to someone before. I’m sort of the chosen one? Or, at least _a_ chosen one. I’m not super sure if it’s a definite or indefinite article. But yeah.”

Duck didn’t know what the others had theorized about the secrets he was keeping but judging by Aubrey’s open-mouth stare, this hadn’t been it.

“I have apparently been chosen by destiny to stop some kind of catastrophe and save the world, whatever the fuck that means. This ghost alien lady from another world named Minerva appeared when I was a kid and told me all this, very loudly, which is how she does basically everything. Also only I can see her, so that’s another level of pain in the ass because it makes me look like a nutcase.”

Aubrey still couldn’t seem to pull together enough words to form any kind of response and so Duck kept going.

“She’s the one who gave me Beacon, which Jesus Christ I will never understand, he is the _worst thing ever_. But yeah, I was like 15, I didn’t know what the fuck was going on, she scared the shit out of me. So I started ignoring her, doing my best to pretend she wasn’t real until she finally stopped showing up and I was able to make myself believe she’d never really been there at all. Except…”

And Duck stopped and shook his head, a half-grin sneaking onto his face, “Except then, all the sudden she came back. It was on the night we all met when I found the gate and that first abomination. And after everything that happened, I figured maybe I oughta start listening to her.”

“I don’t talk about this...well, partly because it sounds fucking crazy but also because it’s so scary. I don’t know what the hell being the chosen one means except that I’m really good at taking a beating and that bad shit seems to happen around me.”

“That’s...a fucking lot,” Aubrey finally said, dazed.

“I know, right? I didn’t want to talk about it because I _still_ don’t want it to be real. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I keep to myself because, well, because I like my own company, but also because I’m scared just like you are of what might happen to someone if they get too close, and that it’ll be my fault. And before all this? I was alone. I mean, I still had Jane I guess, but she has her own life and she doesn’t, y’know, she doesn’t need all this bullshit. So really, you and Ned are all I got.”

“Don't worry, I know one hug is probably enough for today,” Aubrey said gently, moving closer to Duck to give his shoulder an affectionate squeeze, “but it’s the same for me. You guys are basically the closest thing I have to a family now. The only thing, actually.”

And she couldn’t help but smirk as she added, “and I think it’s fair to say that the list of people willing to put up with Ned is also pretty short. Like, two names short.”

Duck laughed quietly, “this is...uniquely pathetic.”

“Yeah, kinda,” Aubrey agreed, “but it beats being alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with the back-to-back updates. I just couldn't leave Aubrey hanging like that.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has _everything_! Memes, flashbacks, attempted matchmaking, and Uncomfortable Truths.

Early on in Duck, Aubrey, and Ned’s time together in the Pine Guard, there had been...not an incident, per se. An event? A Not-Exactly-Accidental-Group-Coming-Out? That last one, while not rolling off the tongue, is probably the most accurate.

They had been leaving the lodge together, the three of them, when Aubrey had passed Dani, who had been in her now-familiar spot on the front porch, sketchbook in hand, hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail that left loose strands framing the sides of her face. They might not have even exchanged words, possibly merely waved at each other, but that was all it took to get Aubrey blushing furiously, immediately turning away from her and moving in a brisk, embarrassed power-walk.

Ned, who had watched this all happen in quick succession had raised an amused eyebrow and said with a smirk, “I have to say, I didn’t know someone could actually do an embarrassed jog before, that’s pretty impressive. What is this, like a social anxiety type of thing? Is it because you wave all weird like that?”

“What?” Aubrey squeaked, “I wave weird? How is my wave weird? I wave like a normal person waves!”

“Aubrey, kid, calm down, I’m just messing with you!” he had snickered as Duck shot him a dirty look that Ned rolled his eyes at in response, “It’s only some gentle ribbing, don’t be so touchy. Honestly, you’d think you had a crush on that girl.”

And Aubrey’s whole posture went stiff as her face turned several shades redder before putting her head down, focusing intently on the gravel of the parking lot. Duck, still not saying anything, glared harder at Ned, whose eyes widened in surprise as he too began to blush, having the decency to at least be embarrassed. 

“Oh! Aubrey, I’m sorry, I didn’t uh, wow, yeah, that was…” he trailed off before simply saying with an awkward laugh, “that was really stupid, huh?”

“It’s ok,” Aubrey said, “it’s not like, a secret. Well, I mean, liking Dani is kind of a secret? I dunno. Look just don’t you dare say anything to her or I’ll light you on fire, ok?”

“Understood,” Ned quickly replied.

“But, I mean, I’ve always been pretty open about being bi. It’s just, y’know, small town, rural area, and I don’t wanna stereotype or anything,” she hastily added before Ned cut her off with a wave of his hand.

“Say no more, say no more! But you’re among friends here, and I, from personal experience, can assure you that Kepler is not made up of the kind of slack-jawed, backwoods, banjo-playing, sister-fu -”

“I’m sure she gets the point, Ned,” Duck cut in, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. 

“Right,” Ned replied, and was quiet for four entire seconds before continuing on, gesturing theatrically as he did, “And anyway, I myself believe sexuality to be a vibrant continuum of diverse kinds of attraction and uh...horniness?”

“Please stop talking,” Duck groaned even as Aubrey began to giggle. Ned took this as a cue to not stop talking. 

“I personally identify as what is commonly referred to as ‘nedsexual.’”

“I really hope that’s not a masturbation joke,” Aubrey managed to choke out between fits of laughter.

“Nothing so crude,” Ned replied, even as he winked in a manner that could only be described as crude, “it means I am attracted to a very specific type of person. Namely, anyone who’s attracted to me!”

Aubrey had to stop walking because she was laughing so hard, and Ned finally cut it out, satisfied that he had moved things far enough away from his initial fuck-up. 

A moment later, his phone had rang with a call from Kirby that he responded to with an “oh, shit!” quickly hanging up and bolting towards his car as he yelled over his shoulder, “the landlord’s at the Cryptonomica, Kirby says he brought a safety inspector, seeyoulatergottago!”

And Aubrey and Duck were left alone. Duck cleared his throat and shrugged, “Sorry about Ned. He’s pretty much always like that. I’ve known him a whole lotta years though, and he means well.”

“It’s fine,” Aubrey replied, and Duck kicked at some loose gravel, clearly having more to say but seemingly unsure of how to say it. 

“Um, what’s that internet joke thing you were trying to show me on your phone earlier?”

“Meme, Duck,” Aubrey corrected, “come on, you’re old but you’re not _that_ old, even Ned knows about memes.”

“Fine, whatever, meme. The one with the guys and the hats. Same hat.”

Thoroughly confused, Aubrey nodded, eyebrows raised, “...Yeah?”

“Well, um, same hat, right?” he said, gesturing to his ranger hat, clearly growing increasingly uncomfortable, “you said you’re, y’know, bisexual, so, same hat.”

“...Are you trying to tell me you’re also bi?”

Duck’s arms flopped to his sides and he shrugged with an embarrassed half-grin, “Did I do the meme wrong?”

Aubrey smiled back, shaking her head, “Nah, you nailed it.”

\-------------------

 

Currently, Aubrey and Duck were still sitting on the floor of Mama’s office, Aubrey now much calmer, if still a bit shaky.

“I know you’re scared,” Duck started, “but I think you oughta give Dani a little more credit. I mean, she’s a magic being from another world, I think she can handle you talking about your powers and how you're feeling freaked out by them and stuff.”

“Maybe,” Aubrey replied, her tone quiet and uncertain. However, it brightened significantly when she turned to Duck and added, “so we just need to find someone like that for you.”

“...What?”

“You know, someone we know can hang if you share all your magical shit with them.”

Duck made a face, rubbing the back of his head, “I dunno about that.”

“Why not?” Aubrey asked, jabbing him in the arm, “you deserve someone you can open up to, Duck! Someone you can be your uh, whatsit, _authentic self_ with!”

“I prefer to remain closed, thank you,” Duck said dryly before adding, “although I’m glad that you seem to have bounced back.”

“I’m very resilient,” Aubrey replied. 

“I can see that,” Duck said with something that was not quite a smile, but may have been in the same family as one.

“And anyway,” he continued abruptly after a few moments of silence, “even if I _was_ looking for someone - which I’m not - there’s not exactly a lot of options available. Me'n Juno were a thing a while back and if anyone could handle this kind of shit, she could. But it didn't even work out the first time, so I dunno. And then there's Barclay, I guess? And like, he’s a good guy and all, and I’d be lyin’ if I said he wasn’t easy on the eyes, but that would never work. It would literally just be us standing around in the world’s longest awkward silence.”

“So you need a talker, is what you’re saying?” Aubrey asked, trying very hard and yet still failing completely to hold an innocent tone of voice, “someone to fill in silences so you don’t have to?”

“Aubrey,” Duck warned, a sharp edge appearing in his voice, “I swear if you’re about to suggest -”

“Someone who’s already your very good friend who knows about magic and also knows that you’re a big doofy weirdo and still obviously really likes you and fights monsters for you and who _you_ should really give more credit to?”

Duck leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and sighing that same signature world-weary sigh.

“God dammit, what did he tell you?”

“Not anything, really,” Aubrey protested, “just that you guys had a fight, and only because I bullied him until he told me. And he was sad because he feels all worthless and I think that was pretty unfair of you because I know Ned can maybe be kind of a coward sometimes, but there’s also all the cool shit he’s done and -”

“Aubrey, seriously, that’s enough!” Duck said firmly, holding his hands up, “Jesus, kid. Look, the whole reason I was even at the Cryptonomica and found your mom’s necklace is that I was tryin' to apologize to him.” 

Aubrey narrowed her eyes in mock suspicion, “I mean, I _guess_.”

Duck rolled his eyes, “All right, we’re done talking about me, Ned, and especially me _and_ Ned. Do you feel ready to head back out there or do you need some more time?”

And a shadow flitted over Aubrey’s face, a darkness that almost gave away the truth, that she was not ready, that she was the farthest thing from ready, that honestly, she might never be ready. But it passed almost as quickly as it appeared as she shoved these thoughts, these tangled and untenable feelings back down where (as far as she was concerned) they belonged, to be dealt with at a later date that would hopefully never actually come, diverting her attention back to the matter of Duck, Ned, and Duck and Ned.

“Yeah, I think so,” she said, starting to stand up, “but I also still think you’re writing Ned off before giving him a chance. I mean, yeah, you guys are pretty different but -”

“Aubrey,” Duck interrupted again, looking tired beyond all measure as he reached for the door, “I’m telling you now, and for what I’m hopin’ is the last time, that it _wouldn’t work_. I like Ned, I really do. And I know that he does his best, which is why I’m going to apologize for what I said to him. But at the end of the day, Ned Chicane really and truly cares about one thing, and that’s Ned Chicane. And I just can’t be with someone like that.”

There was such a certainty, such a heavy finality to Duck's words, that Aubrey stopped pushing and let the matter drop.

For now, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "some people???? meddle in their friends' love lives??? to cope????"  
> -Aubrey Little, probably


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some long-awaited apologies, potential reconsiderations, and a healthy dose of Crippling Angst.

Ned had been standing by the window, watching the rain continue to come down in buckets when Duck had walked up, unnoticed until he tapped Ned on the shoulder, the other man jumping practically a foot in the air in surprise.

“Sorry about that.”

“S’ok,” Ned replied, uncharacteristically monosyllabic, “just...thinking.”

“Mama doesn't want to waste any more time letting Rocky run around. She said we should all head to Sylvain and talk to Heathcliff,"

Ned frowned, confused.

"Who?"

"The giant cat wizard."

"Ah right, of course, continue."

"Anyway, we're supposed to try and get him to make us some kind of weapon that can fight this thing. She wants to go now while there’s still some daylight left,” Duck said, “relatively speaking, anyway,” he added as they both stared at the dark grey-blue of the sky, clouds curling over themselves like choppy ocean waves. 

Ned checked his watch, surprised, “Jeez, only four o’clock.”

“Busy day,” Duck agreed.

They stood together, neither speaking for what felt like much longer than it really was, time stretching itself elastic. Finally, Duck was the one to break the silence. 

“I just wanted to apologize for earlier,” he said quietly, partially because he felt embarrassed thinking back to his outburst during the fight but also because it just felt sort of right, even if no one else was in earshot at the moment.

Whatever Ned had expected to hear, it definitely wasn’t this. He let out a mildly hysterical half-chuckle, trying to keep his heart from slamming out of his chest, trying to keep the image of Aubrey’s house, up in flames, out of his head. Meanwhile Duck was looking expectant, maybe even hopeful, unless that was just more of Ned’s imagination.

“I...I had actually gone out to apologize to you,” he finally replied, “I know that I got all defensive and lost it, and that’s because, I suppose, on some level, I knew you were right...I guess. So I’m sorry too.”

As apologies went, it certainly wasn’t winning any awards, but Ned was also very much out of practice when it came to that sort of thing. Not that he wasn’t constantly fucking up, but that he usually didn’t bother to be sorry about it. 

He chewed his lower lip and hid his hands behind his back so that Duck couldn’t see how much they were shaking. Duck, for his part, didn’t seem to notice that Ned was any squirrelier than usual, or if he did, he apparently chalked it up to the general discomfort of the situation.

“Yeah well,” Duck started, arms crossed in front of him, “I wasn’t right to react the way I did either. You were right that I didn’t give you enough credit. You might be kinda, uh,” he paused, searching for a tactful word, “reluctant, sometimes. But you’ve stepped up and had me n’Aubrey’s backs, and even if you don’t wanna be here, you keep showing up.”

Duck stopped and chuckled slightly, “Even if I dunno why exactly you keep showing up.”

Ned’s stomach felt like it was methodically tearing itself into little pieces. He didn’t deserve this, he knew he didn’t, he should just say it, he should just - 

“You should talk,” he said instead, trying to inject some of his usual teasing charm into his voice, “Mama practically had to drag you kicking and screaming out to the woods that first time. Unless you were asking me a question?”

“Yeah sure,” Duck said, allowing himself a small, ironic sort of smile now that the worst of it over, as far as he knew, anyway.

“It’s a question then. Why do you keep showing up?”

There were a hundred ways to answer, most of them jokes, deflections, self-aggrandizements. But Ned decided to tell the truth, as he had a sinking feeling there weren’t going to be many more opportunities for that in the near future.

“I keep showing up,” he repeated slowly, picking his words out of the swirling, nervous cloud in his mind, “because, we all know that I might not be the best guy...or even a very good guy.”

Duck raised an eyebrow but said nothing and Ned shrugged, smiling despite himself, despite everything.

“Ok, fine, neutral guy, at best. But these little life-threatening excursions or what-have-you, these adventures, maybe? Hunts? Whatever the hell you want to call them, this time spent almost getting my ass killed with you and Aubrey, they might not make me a good guy, but I think...that they’re helping me be a better one. That you guys are helping me be better. And I guess I feel like that’s something I should be doing, being better.”

And Ned was quiet for a moment and then laughed awkwardly, cringing, “Shit, that was pretty cheesy.”

“It was,” Duck agreed, looking thoughtful, remembering his conversation with Aubrey, though Ned had no way of knowing this.

“But I could tell it was the truth, which is a big deal with you -”

“Because I have such a good poker face?”

“Because literally everything you say sounds like a lie.”

And Duck had said this lightly, teasingly, clearly meant in a non-accusatory way, but Ned felt his insides twisting all the same.

_If only you knew._

Duck turned to walk back over to the others but stopped, still looking like was trying to process something, wheels turning in his head. He placed a hand on Ned’s shoulder. 

“For what it's worth, Ned, I think you are becoming a better person,” he said with the same matter-of-fact sincerity he’d used earlier to shut Ned down, “maybe even a good one.”

\-------------------

 

Soon it would be time to leave for the gate, but at the moment, Ned had locked himself in the lobby bathroom, trying to get his head on straight, trying to claw his way out of the hole he'd dug deep inside his head. 

He was gripping the edges of the counter-top so tightly that his knuckles shone white against his skin, the face reflected back at him in the mirror above the sink just a few shades less pale. He felt so incredibly sick, almost sure he could feel Amnesty Lodge’s Cheapest Bourbon sloshing around in his guts as he took a slow, ragged breath.

Ned didn’t do guilt. Sure, he felt bad about things sometimes, he wasn’t a monster. He felt bad about leaving Boyd behind after the car crash, but that was just the way things had shook out. Ned knew that if their positions had been reversed that Boyd would’ve done the same, not in any kind of malicious way, it was just the nature of the job. 

He felt bad for putting Barclay in a dangerous position with Agent Stern, but how was he supposed to know that there was a crazy fed out there hell-bent on chasing down a supposedly mythical creature? It wasn’t like he’d meant for any of that to happen, it just had.

And he had felt bad about that last robbery, even before he knew all the details. It wasn’t supposed to have gone down like that, everyone should’ve been asleep, it should’ve been easy, in and out. But that’s not what had happened. Still, how was he supposed to have predicted the fire? That wasn’t on him.

It was unfortunate that he'd had to do these things to survive, but it was only things, after all, right? And sure, he didn’t _have_ to be a thief, but it wasn’t like he was good at anything else. Not school, not any kind of honest job, even fleecing tourists at the Cryptonomica. The shop had been on its last legs before the Bigfoot thing.

And yeah, fine, he had sometimes felt bad about taking stuff from people, but one of the benefits of being a thief had been not having to stick around for the aftermath, letting the people he stole from, the people he may have (probably did) hurt remain abstract concepts he never really had to think about. 

But this was different. As he had listened to Aubrey’s story in the hospital he’d hardly been able to believe it. What were the odds? And now he knew the full extent of what he and Boyd had done and more than that, there was a face, a tangible person, a friend, that was now permanently attached to it. 

And maybe he could tell himself that it was still just something that happened. Something to feel bad about that still wasn’t _really_ his fault, circumstances that couldn't have been accounted for. There was nothing he could do about it now.

Except that wasn’t true. He still had Aubrey’s mother’s necklace, he was actively keeping it from her, actively lying to her, this wasn’t something that happened, this was something he was doing. But he’d managed to ignore that voice in his head that told him this was wrong, justified his actions up and down and sideways but now…

“You idiot,” Ned muttered at his reflection, “you should be happy! You did it, you’re free. Aubrey has the necklace, no one hates you, at least no more than usual, everybody wins.”

So why did he feel so guilty? 

_“I think you are becoming a better person, maybe even a good one.”_

Fuck. Of all the things to say right now, of all the conversations to have. The worst part was that it really was the truth too. For a while there Ned had let himself think that Duck and Aubrey were a good influence on him, that by trying his best to contribute to the team, in his own way, he was finally doing something good. Protecting people. Sort of. 

But if anything proved that that was a crock of bullshit, it was this whole mess with Aubrey, and he heard that voice again, repeating the words from earlier in the day, the same words every time, it seemed.

_You’ll never change, you’ll always still be you._

_A selfish coward. A thief and a liar. Someone who doesn’t care who they might hurt._

And unlike before, Ned couldn’t think of anything to say back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *winks and finger guns*


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are kisses, decisions, and extremely questionable combat tactics.

Duck, Ned, Aubrey, Barclay, and Mama were all crammed into Duck’s forestry truck, the Pine Guard’s last remaining functional vehicle, bouncing into each other with every bump and shake caused by the uneven dirt trail. The atmosphere inside could most generously be described as “less than great” and most accurately described as “deeply uncomfortable.”

Mama was clearly still unhappy about the situation with the Flamebright Pendant, Aubrey was still all folded in on herself, the chain of the necklace wrapped several times around her hand. Ned looked like he was being shipped off to prison, while Duck had too many fresh bruises across his body and too many thoughts in his head, wondering about what Indrid had said before about how their futures had hung on when he arrived at the Cryptonomica. What would have happened if he’d gotten there sooner, before Ned had left? Today would probably have been a lot less stressful, among other things. Or maybe this was the good future? Was there even really a difference between good and bad futures?

_Uh, yeah, the bad ones are the ones where we end up fuckin’ dead. Idiot._

And poor Barclay was just there, soaking up everyone else’s tension. He twisted in his seat to tap Duck on the shoulder.

“You got any CDs, maybe?”

“I got Jurassic Park on audiobook.”

“...Ok, then,” Barclay sighed, leaning back into his seat as the truck bounced over another wayward branch on the trail.

As they made their way closer to the gate, Aubrey’s thoughts were back at the lodge. Just before they had left, she’d gone up to her room to feed Dr. Harris Bonkers. He happily nibbled at some lettuce as they sat together on Aubrey’s bed. It was weirdly comforting, Aubrey thought as she gently stroked his fluffy back, that this was just another chill-ass day in the life of Dr. Harris Bonkers. 

“You’ve got a PhD,” Aubrey said, leaning over to look her rabbit in the face as his little nose scrunched and unscrunched, “what kind of wisdom can you give me right now?”

“Rain destruction upon your enemies and also feed me more carrots!” replied, thankfully not Dr. Harris Bonkers, but Dani, in a goofy high-pitched squeak as she stood at the door to Aubrey’s room.

“Sorry,” Dani said as the other girl laughed, “I didn’t mean to barge in, I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

And Aubrey’s first instinct was to lie and say that she was fine, to paste a bright, toothpaste-ad-worthy smile across her face, but she remembered what Duck said earlier about Dani, and also what Aubrey had said to Duck, about how everyone deserved someone they could be open and authentic with. She was part of everyone, so why shouldn’t she deserve it too? Why not try following her own advice?

“I’m doing ok, but not great,” she said slowly, “it’s been...a lot, today. And I know Mama’s kinda mad at me, even if she won’t say so. And I’ve been...I’ve been not great for awhile now. Just scared of things, of myself, of hurting people, letting them down.”

“I’ve noticed,” Dani said softly, sitting down on the bed next to Aubrey, absently petting Dr. Harris Bonkers, “not any of those specific things, but that you haven’t been yourself. I didn’t want to push it though. I know we haven’t really sat down and talked about boundaries’n things like that, but I need you to know that you can tell me this stuff. I mean, that’s part of bein’ someone’s girlfriend, right?”

And Aubrey had probably meant to say words, maybe something like, “excuse me, could you repeat that?” or even just “whaaaaat?” but when she opened her mouth all that came out was a sustained, fairly shrill squeak.

Dani reflexively leaned back a bit, her eyes widening with worry, “Aubrey? Are you ok? Did I say something wrong?”

“No!” Aubrey said, way too loud before repeating, much quieter, “No, you’re fine. Um, when you say ‘girlfriend’ do you mean like, girlfriend-girlfriend or like, ‘hey there, girlfriend!’?”

Dani cocked her head to the side, now confused as well as worried. “I don’t understand, I thought that...Aubrey, we’re together basically all the time when you’re not out with Duck and Ned.”

“Well, yeah, but I thought we were just y’know, hanging out?”

“We spent like, _an hour_ cuddling together earlier.”

“That’s...that’s just a thing that...girls...do?” Aubrey finished, her voice having gone higher with every word as she realized how ridiculous she sounded. She cleared her throat and tried again, “I mean, we - you - never actually _said_...that.”

Dani blushed bright red, freckles standing out against her skin, “I mean, I guess I just _assumed_ , it felt obvious, but I don’t wanna like, force you, or - or make you put a label on -”

“No, no, no!” Aubrey protested, physically waving her hands back and forth, “I love labels! Labels are great, they tell what stuff is and who a tupperware container in the fridge belongs to, and I definitely want to label us with the word ‘girlfriend’ in like, super huge font, possibly bolded and italicized, maybe even with sparkly glitter.”

And Dani was still blushing but also cracking up and that was a good thing, right? She managed to stem the flow of giggles, reaching across to Aubrey, gently gripping the back of the other girl’s neck. 

“You are such a doofus.”

And then she had pulled Aubrey in for a long kiss, Dr. Harris Bonkers sitting between them, still obliviously munching his lettuce.

Aubrey focused on the memory of that kiss as she felt the weight of the pendant in her hand, unaware of Ned trying not to stare a hole in the back of her head but doing it anyway. He snapped his gaze away, looked down at his feet instead. He was remembering the heat of the flames that had chased at his heels as he and Boyd had fled Aubrey’s house, remembering yelling at Boyd, asking what happened over and over and not getting a response, the other man too shaken up, lungs burning. He could recall it so strongly he almost felt the fire as if it were blazing there in the truck, sweat causing his shirt to stick to his back. 

And he decided right then that he would tell her. He couldn’t live like this, with feelings that had been horrible enough when they were buried deep beneath the surface of himself and now curled all around him like a heavy cloud of smoke. At first, Ned thought maybe he would wait until this whole business with Rocky was over, but even that was too long, who could say how long the abomination would keep evading them, leaving them chasing their collective tails. 

No, he’d tell her after they got back from Sylvain, before anything else could happen. Then his lie would have lasted less than a day. Well, one of them anyway. The other one, the original one, had been going on for weeks now, but it was too late to do anything about that. At least he could fix this one. 

“Fix” being a relative term anyway.

Ned knew he was going to lose Aubrey, going to lose _everyone_ , but at least he’d finally be doing right by her, could stop feeling so sick. Even just by coming to this decision he felt better already, steadier. 

There’d be no point to staying in Kepler. Hell, he might have to book it as soon as the deed was done, because he knew Mama already didn’t trust him to keep his mouth shut now while he was under her supervision, so lord knows what she might try to do to him if she knew he was leaving town, never mind once she found out how much he’d hurt Aubrey.

And Ned swallowed hard as he considered for the first time the very real possibility that he would be killed by a gang of extremely protective monster-people and one perhaps even more protective shotgun-toting middle-aged woman before he would have the chance to be out in the middle of nowhere on his own again.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

_“I think you are becoming a better person, maybe even a good one.”_

Fuck. Shit. Ok, fine, whatever, death by sylphs and everything else be damned, Ned was going to tell Aubrey the truth and try to live up to at least a fraction of Duck’s estimation of him. One final bump jolted him out of his thoughts and he looked up and saw that they’d reached the gate.

They exited the truck, all happy to be out, even if it meant getting rained on all over again. Before making the jump from their world to the one next door, Mama gathered the team together around her.

“All right, now here’s the plan -”

Whatever Mama’s plan might have been was at that moment forever lost to time as she was cut off by a thunderous, growling roar, followed by the sound of trees snapping and something stomping the ground so hard that it shook beneath them.

“Aw, fuck,” Duck groaned as Rocky came into view, thrashing its way toward them.

“Could it roar before?” Ned asked nervously, his tone edging towards a slight hysteria, “I don’t remember there being any roaring this morning.”

“I'm pretty sure he doesn't even have a mouth,” Aubrey replied, her voice also wavering.

“This is definitely a fascinatin’ topic of conversation,” Mama cut in, “and one that can be discussed later when it’s not comin’ to fuckin’ kill us.”

As if on cue, Rocky lumbered close enough to slam a stubby fist down towards the group, causing them to split and scatter in order to avoid being squashed. Moving not particularly quickly but still upsettingly fast for a massive of hunk of rock, it made to corner Aubrey, Ned, and Barclay, who were clustered together, putting itself between them and the gate. 

Duck, off to the side and currently unnoticed, unsheathed Beacon, who said in his usual unimpressed drawl, “Oh good, this again.”

“I’m open to other ideas,” Duck replied, breaking into a sprint.

“Why bother trying to fix what is apparently irreparably broken, Duck Newton? Much like I am most likely about to be.”

“Fantastic input, as always,” Duck grunted, taking a running leap and essentially attempting to put a pile of rocks in a choke-hold, which was, in retrospect, a horrible idea for several reasons. 

1\. Duck had only a rough estimation of where Rocky’s neck was, if it even qualified as a “neck” at all.

2\. Rock doesn’t breath and therefore cannot be choked.

3\. Duck _did_ breath and was made of bits that were much, much softer than rock, and had the air completely knocked out of him as soon as he made contact and definitely also bruised some ribs.

Struggling to get air back into his lungs, Duck swung out at Rocky, Beacon clattering off the place where one could imagine the abomination’s face was. While ineffective, it at least managed to distract Rocky from the others, who all scrambled toward the gate. 

Rocky threw a wheezing Duck Newton to the ground and it was Ned of all people who ran out to grab the incapacitated ranger by the armpits and try to drag him away, screaming an uninterrupted stream of fucks as he did. Suddenly, there was a roar that did not come from the monster but from an engine, accompanied by the squeal of tires taking sharp turn as Mama, now behind the wheel of Duck’s truck, drove between them and Rocky, yelling out the window.

“Get through the gate! Barclay’n me’ll give him somethin’ to chase after!”

“We will?” Barclay asked as Mama sped by, doing what were, quite frankly, extremely impressive donuts around the abomination. He sighed and got ready to leap into the bed of the truck as Duck, now able to breathe sufficiently enough, called back.

“We’ll be back as soon as we can! Try not to get killed! And Barclay -”

The big man turned to Duck as he said with deep, impassioned sincerity, “Please don’t let Mama crash my truck.”

Barclay nodded grimly, “I’ll do my best.”

And Duck let Ned and Aubrey drag him through the gate as Mama and Barclay went speeding off, Rocky trailing behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess I got until January to wrap this up now that the main plot point has been thoroughly jossed. On the bright side: we're like one or two chapters away from the Big Climax.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aubrey gets (some) answers, and Ned and Duck have a conversation entirely in subtext that accomplishes almost nothing because they're dumb as hell.

The three of them had made it to Sylvain, Duck back on his feet, insisting that he was fine, it was all good, he was the tough one after all, right? As if the other two hadn’t just seen him sling his dumb ass into a wall of living rock.

“I know we’re in kind of a hurry,” said Aubrey as she shifted from foot to foot.

“A bit, yeah,” Duck replied dryly.

“But is it cool if I go see Janelle real quick while you guys talk to the cat wizard? You can just come grab me when you’re done, if that’s ok.”

Duck nodded slowly before asking, “who the heck is Janelle?”

“The Minister of the Arcane?”

“Not really ringing a bell.”

“The small lady in charge of magic?”

Duck turned to Ned for confirmation, who just shrugged and said, “No idea.”

Rather than waste any more time over it, they went their separate ways, Aubrey towards the castle and Ned and Duck towards the entrance to the catacombs and Heathcliff’s lair.

\-------------------

 

Even as Janelle entered the room where Aubrey had been waiting for the very intimidating but still incredibly cute squirrel-person guard to announce Aubrey’s presence and desire to speak with her, Aubrey’s heart thudded out a nervous rhythm in her chest. She wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, or the thing she was supposed to do or thing she wanted to do, or - 

“Aubrey, what brings you to my chambers? I know I often get lost in my studies but I’m almost certain we didn’t have any kind of training scheduled for today.”

“No, we didn’t,” Aubrey admitted, “and I’m sorry to bother you, but it’ll be really quick. Um, so, remember how you keep saying my magic is different from Sylvain’s?”

“Yes...?” Janelle said, letting her answer trail off into a question, her face otherwise unreadable.

“Can you keep a secret? It’s a really small one and I promise it won’t hurt anyone and I need to show you something because - because I need answers, that’s all I really want, but I just...I just need to know that you won’t tell anybody about it.”

And the Minister of the Arcane frowned slightly as she took in Aubrey’s stammering, letting a long silence pass before she said anything.

“If it’s not anything dangerous, why does it need to be a secret?”

And Aubrey took a deep breath and tried to answer as truthfully as possible while still verbally dancing her way around it, “Because the thing I’m gonna show you is really important to me, and I had lost it for a long time and I just got back today and I don’t want to lose it again. But it has to do with Sylvain, I’m pretty sure, and I don’t want anyone to freak out and take it from me, not that I think you guys just freak out about whatever, I’m just saying that -”

“Aubrey!” Janelle interrupted sharply before repeating in a much kinder tone, “Aubrey, settle down. Fine, I promise to keep whatever you’re about to show me secret.”

And Aubrey took the necklace out from her pocket, carefully handing it over to Janelle.

“It was my mom’s, and she never took it off until the night she gave it to me. It got stolen that same night and now I have it back again and as soon as I saw it realized that the stone -”

“Is from the Heart of Sylvain,” Janelle finished in a hushed exclamation as she stared at the pendant.

“How strange,” she murmured, not bothering to elaborate. 

“Yeah,” Aubrey replied, even as she knew it wasn’t a statement that had been directed towards her, “I thought it was pretty weird since you said that my magic was different and I’m definitely human and also my mom never did anything magical but she had this, and she said that it had been in our family for generations.”

“Well, it’s certainly from Sylvain,” Janelle confirmed, “and if it’s been in your family’s possession for as long as you say, there’s a chance it could be from back when sylphs traveled through the gate much more freely. It may even have been a gift of some kind to one of your ancestors.”

“Wow,” Aubrey breathed, “that almost makes it sound like I was destined to come here or something. Which is really cool but honestly, also kinda spooky.”

“Indeed. And you say your mother never did any magic?”

“Not that I ever knew about,” Aubrey answered with a shrug, suddenly much less sure of herself and what she did or didn’t know about her family.

“Well, as I’ve said before, your powers are a different animal entirely, but I know you’ve felt, how do I put it? Emanations, I suppose, from the crystal.”

“Uhhh yeah, kinda,” Aubrey replied. She still hadn’t told Janelle about the whole Touching-The-Crystal Incident, had taken to wearing a brown-colored contact to hide her newly-acquired heterochromia. Aubrey also hadn’t told her about whatever weird connection she seemed to have with The Interpreter but even she didn’t know what the hell that was about, and figured it was smart to keep it to herself until she did (whether or not this was actually smart was anyone’s guess). 

“Even if your magic isn’t Sylvan,” Janelle continued, “it’s still affected by it, and this necklace is a part of that connection. It’s a form of enhancement, greatly strengthening the magical power of the wearer.”

“A plus two to magic,” Aubrey gasped, her eyes wide.

“...I don’t know what that means, but sure.”

Janelle handed the necklace back to Aubrey, gazing at it wistfully even as she did.

“I really would like to study it further, but I suppose for the moment my books will be enough for my research. Besides, perhaps it can help you against the abominations.”

Aubrey gratefully slipped it back into her pocket. She had certainly gotten some answers, but somehow now had even more questions. But, if nothing else, at least these questions were interesting rather than painful. 

\-------------------

 

As Duck and Ned made the long walk down the catacombs, Ned noticed Duck wincing every few steps, hand pressed gingerly against his side. Ned knew that for all Duck seemed to encourage caution and carefulness, whatever powers he had that made him stronger and more resilient than the average forest ranger also made him reckless, at least when it came to his own safety. 

He found himself wondering just where the line between heroics and stupidity was as Duck paused to slowly exhale, his eyes squeezed shut. He opened them to see Ned frowning in disapproval.

“You’re not ok, are you?”

“I’m good enough,” Duck said curtly, and they briefly return to walking in silence before he stopped again, rubbing the back of his neck, his voice much more bashful, “but thanks, y'know, for the assist back there.”

Ned shrugged, “I dunno that I’d call it an assist.”

“Well, then thanks for running out and grabbing me while yelling ‘fuck’ the whole time.”

“The pleasure was all mine," Ned replied with a little bow in his grandiose Cryptonomica showman's voice, "After all, it’s only fair I get to drag you away from danger every once in a while." he added, allowing himself a short laugh before dropping back into a more serious expression.

If he was going to tell Aubrey the truth when they got back, then this was probably his last chance to have a conversation with Duck alone. He knew there were things he needed to say, things he felt, but he wasn’t sure how to say them, or if they even warranted saying. 

Ned had always liked Duck, as a drinking buddy, as a friend, as the long-suffering straight man to Ned’s endless stream of cheerful bullshitting. And there had been a time, years and years ago now, when Ned had liked for there to be something more. Maybe. Possibly. Perhaps. 

Not that he’d say so. To anyone. Ever. 

Because he had figured out fairly quickly that he wasn’t someone that people like Duck went for. Or that _anyone_ went for beyond a bit of fun, a good and wild time that would always have to end all-too-soon because let’s face it, he wasn’t the kind of guy people got close to. And even if they tried, Ned wasn’t the kind of guy to let them.

But he was never going to see Duck again, and so he had to say something and as he looked at the other man, bruised and aching and determined to keep moving, words began to form in his throat, seemingly of their own accord.

“You know, you can let people do that more than just once in a while too. Help you, I mean. I know a while back when you were raving about that soup -”

“It’s great soup.”

“Fantastic soup,” Ned agreed, “you said that you had these, I dunno, hero duties? Responsibilities? But it’s not all on you. The three of us, we’re a team...kind of. I guess I just mean that you don’t always have to do _this_ to yourself,” he said, gesturing to Duck’s hunched over posture as he tried to favor his injured side.

“Someone has to,” Duck shrugged, “it may as well be me. I can take it, it’s my job to, you know? Like I told you before, I ignored this hero stuff for years, for decades, and I feel like I need to make up for lost time, to do the job I was chosen for, and this is how I do it.”

“By winning the Most Concussions in Six Months award?” Ned asked, his voice heavy with sarcasm, “look, I still don’t know all the details about this ‘chosen hero’ schtick you’ve got going on,”

“It’s not a schtick,” Duck said, bristling defensively.

Ned stopped for a moment to rethink his words, not wanting to start another fight. 

“All I’m trying to say is that we both know that there are plenty of people who like you and appreciate you not because of how you throw yourself at these abominations but because of who you are. You’re solid, dependable -”

“Am I a person or a Chevy?” Duck interrupted, “do I get good mileage too?”

Duck, for his part, didn’t want to hear about what a good guy people thought he was, and so he tried to laugh it off and cut short whatever assuredly long speech Ned had cooking. Because whatever he was going to say, it didn’t matter. 

Duck protected things, that’s what he _did_ , what he had always done, even before Minerva came to him, booming on about destiny. First it was his sister, all through school whenever anyone tried to bully her. Then, even as he did his best to pretend that Minerva had never been real, he protected the woods, the Monongahela Forest and everything in it, keeping it safe from poachers or vandals or idiot tourists. And now it was the Pine Guard, it was Aubrey and Ned and Mama and Barclay and everyone in Kepler, really, and the only way he knew how to do that was to put himself between the danger and whatever that danger was trying to get to.

But Ned just swatted Duck on the arm in response, grumbling, “C’mon, shut up. I’m trying to be sincere and there’s only so much of that I can do in one day. You’re...you’re kind, and you care and you give people the benefit of a doubt, whether they’re a potentially evil goat man that was just trying to kill you or a dashing con artist who’s uh, maybe a little rough around the edges.”

Ned paused, nervously fiddling with a tie that was becoming increasingly frayed from the day’s events before continuing, “You’re trustworthy and - and good, and people can sense that and it has nothing to do with being The Chosen One and everything to do with being Duck Newton. People need you, Duck, and not just because you can get thrashed around by a monster and walk it off. So, I dunno, maybe just think about that the next time you try to be everyone’s human shield or something.”

And as he’d finished talking, the two men had reached the entrance to the chasm that held Heathcliff the Enchanter. Ned looked out into the darkness, not sure what to do now that he’d run out of words, while Duck tried not to blush, tried not to argue, tried not to think about that conversation with Aubrey in Mama’s office that already felt so long ago. 

He hadn’t really appreciated it at the time, but his life had been so simple before all this. Wake up, do his job, walk the forest, be a guide for a group of school kids on a field trip every now and then. Work on his model ships, chat with Leo, take care of his cat, occasionally hang out and have drinks with Ned.

It occurred to Duck, as they waited for Heathcliff to rear his furry head, that it was weird that Ned had been the one carryover into this more complicated, confusing, and generally dangerous day-to-day life, and perhaps equally weird that Duck had never thought about that before. He had been called into the woods specifically to check out reports of what had turned out to be the first abomination, but there could have been anyone else out in the forest that night who might have also stumbled onto the gate and all its secrets, some random camper, a lost backpacker, or even no one. 

But it had been Ned. And until this moment, Duck realized that he might not (at least consciously, anyway) have fully appreciated the small sense of normalcy Ned added to all this craziness (although applying the word “normal” to Ned was its own kind of crazy). 

Even if he was a pain in the ass. Even if he was a loud, lying, cheating, never-stops-talking, P.T. Barnum-style lunatic. 

Even if he suddenly, out of nowhere said some of the nicest things that Duck had ever had someone say to him. What was he supposed do with all that? How was he supposed to mesh this and the earlier burst of sincerity after he had apologized with Ned Chicane, Professional Bullshit Artist? With the idea of the man that he'd so knowingly assured Aubrey only cared about himself.

No, no, no no, there was definitely not time for that now. Focus on the monster, focus on the mission, focus on doing what he did best and protecting the people that mattered to him. This day had been emotionally draining and confusing enough as it was. Focus on what was simple and what made sense: stopping the bad guy...bad rock...thing. 

Ok, maybe “simple” and “made sense” weren’t the best descriptors in this particular instance. 

Except there was one thing that didn’t add up for Duck.

“You know where you do even get off lecturing me about puttin’ myself in danger when your two modes are either ‘run and hide’ or ‘kamikaze death wish’?” he snapped suddenly, unable to pinpoint why exactly it rubbed him the wrong way so much but letting the irritation seep into his voice anyway. 

“It’s not remotely the same thing,” Ned argued, arms folded tight against his chest.

“And how exactly do you figure?”

But before Ned could work out a way to say “because unlike you, I don’t have anything else to offer anyone” without sounding abjectly pitiful, Heathcliff rose up from the shadows, enormous eyes reflecting the minimal light back at them.

“And how may I be of service to you gentlemen today?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Wednesday, here's a big-ass chapter because I'm getting antsy about getting to the Fun Bits.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Heathcliff is a big, fluffy pain, Duck has amazing reception, and there is an extended dick joke (eyyyy)

Ned and Duck craned their necks to meet Heathcliff the Enchanter’s whiskered face.

“So how’d that jet-pack pan out, friend?” He asked in a very snarky purr, which was not something that either man would’ve thought was a thing that could be snarky.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Duck replied, rolling his eyes, “and we can rag on me all you want later, but we’re on a kinda tight timetable right now and we could really use your help making a weapon.”

“Oh, you need my help? No ‘hello Heathcliff, how are you? What have you been up to? We really appreciate what you’ve done for us so far.’ Nope, just right to ‘make us a weapon and make it snappy!’” the cat huffed, “Honestly, it’s just rude.”

Duck’s heavy eyebrows pulled themselves down into a deep frown and Ned could see he didn’t have the patience for Heathcliff’s pouting and so before Duck could say anything, Ned quickly slid in front of him, executing a deep, sweeping bow.

“O noble cat...wizard...guy! You know that we are deeply in your debt and, quite frankly, owe you our very lives, as we would not have been able to uhh, vanquish! To vanquish the formidable abominations that plague our fair town without the power of your magical machinations. Which is why we made sure to show our boundless appreciation in the small, limited forms available to us as puny human beings, by getting those special items you requested, like the Seer’s Spectacles, remember when we brought you those, they were real nice, right?”

“They were,” Heathcliff replied, trying to sound casual but clearly eating this all up as Duck looked on with increasing incredulity, mouth hanging slightly open.

“And we would not dare ask you for more without proper ceremony and politesse, Mr. Heathcliff - _Sir_ Heathcliff, but this is, and I cannot overstate this, a situation of _dire_ importance. Lives are on the line and we turn to you in our hour of need. So please, forgive my dear friend Duck for his bluntness, he’s just, just _consumed_ with worry for the innocent lives at stake. And so we humbly ask that you lend us the incredible power of your abilities so that we can defeat this menace!” He intoned, raising his arms high above his head like an old-school preacher.

“Are you done?” Duck muttered.

“Yeah, I’m done,” Ned replied, lowering his arms and tugging the sleeves of his shirt back down.

“Flattery, my small, noisy friend,” Heathcliff started in a long, drawn-out sigh, “will get you _everywhere_. What exactly is it you’re up against this time?”

“It’s a big rock,” Duck answered, stretching his arms out in a fairly useless attempt to convey Rocky’s approximate size.

“...A big rock?”

Duck shrugged awkwardly, “A _really_ big rock that can disappear whenever it wants, like teleport, not go invisible, least not as far as we know, anyway. It’s tried to batter the fuck out of us a couple times now and come real close, and nothing we do seems to make any difference. Can’t cut it, can’t burn it, can’t shoot it.”

“You’re saying my Narf Blaster was unhelpful?”

“Like flicking a paper ball at it,” Ned groused before straightening and clearing his throat, “Er, with all due respect.”

Heathcliff hummed thoughtfully, rubbing his fluffy chin as he did. In the back of his mind, Duck was sorry Aubrey wasn’t around because it was, admittedly, pretty goddamn cute and she would’ve gotten a kick out of it.

“So you need something to hold it one place so it can’t vanish on you…”

“And something that can actually hurt it,” Ned helpfully added.

“What if,” Heathcliff replied, “instead of that, since you’re apparently in such a big hurry, I made you something that was more of an-all-in-one sort of instrument? Something that could hold your monster in place and at the same time make it vulnerable to the weapons you already have?”

“Make sense,” Duck said as Ned nodded in agreement.

“It won’t be easy,” Heathcliff told them, “by which I mean it may take a while.”

“Respectfully,” Duck started carefully, “we really don’t have a while. Our friends are out there right now trying to keep the thing busy and all.”

Heathcliff’s ears flattened, eyes narrowing as he dropped down closer to Duck’s eye-level.

“Do you want it to work or do you want it fast?”

Ned waved his hand to catch the Enchanter’s attention, “What about something fast that _mostly_ works?”

“What?” Duck squawked in alarm, “No! That was how we ended up with the Flymaster in the first place, I am _not_ dealing with that again.”

Ned shrugged and grinned helplessly, “Hey, it ended up coming in handy during that fight against the goat men and the tree though.”

Duck just sighed through clenched teeth and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Ignoring their bickering, Heathcliff had dropped back below the cliff’s edge into the darkness, presumably to get to work. Silence having returned to the cave, Ned and Duck shuffled around uncomfortably as the minutes slowly ticked by, unsure what to do as they waited. Ned, having spoken his piece earlier, hoped that Duck had forgotten where their conversation had left off before Heathcliff’s appearance.

Duck had not, however, and in fact was reminded of it by the mention of Heathcliff’s faulty jet-pack and as he was opening his mouth to restart the argument something extremely strange happened.

His phone rang.

Or, more accurately, buzzed in his pocket, deep below the surface of an alien world that was an unfathomable distance away from their own.

“What the fuck?”

Duck pulled his phone out and stared at it, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as he repeated the only thing his brain was currently able to come up with, which was “what the _fuck?_ ”

“...Are you gonna answer it?” Ned asked hesitantly, eyeing the phone like it might explode at any moment, which seemed as likely as anything else at this point.

“Yeah, I guess I oughta. I mean, I don’t recognize this number but that seems like a secondary issue right now.”

And so he tapped the screen and put the phone up to his ear.

“...Uh, you’ve got Duck?”

“Hello, Duck Newton,” answered the interminably cheerful voice of Indrid Cold. “Yes, I know you’re in Sylvain. No, I wouldn’t waste time worrying about how this call is getting through, but yes, you are probably going to have to deal with some fairly severe roaming charges later.”

“Um, ok, what’s up? Did you get a vision?”

“No,” Indrid replied, a faint trace of sarcasm present in his tone, “I’m just calling to say hi. What do you think, Duck? You, Aubrey, and Ned have just over thirty minutes to get back through the gate before your friends are killed by the abomination.”

“Shit!” Duck hissed, “do you know where they are? Are they still close to the gate?”

“I think so,” Indrid said, uncertain, “for now at least, not sure if that’ll be the case when you get there.”

“Because -”

“Because it all depends on when,” Indrid finished for him, per usual. “Thirty minutes, Duck, maybe less.”

“Thanks, Indrid,” Duck said, hanging up.

“That sounded bad,” Ned groaned, “why doesn’t he ever call to tell us something good’s about to happen?”

“It is bad,” Duck confirmed, “we gotta move.” He leaned over the edge of the precipice, cupping his hands around his mouth and hollering into the void.

“Heathcliff! Change of plans! We need to get out of here ASAP. You got anythin’ we can use?”

For a long moment there was only the sound of Duck’s voice echoing back on them before Heathcliff rose back up into view, clearly annoyed.

“Seriously?”

“I’m sorry,” Duck said, mostly sincere, “we got an update and time ain’t on our side. We’ll take whatever you’ve got.”

“Well, it’s _mostly_ done, I suppose,” he said, nose twitching as his ears flicked back and forth in tiny, jerking motions. He deposited a long, thin, pole of what looked like some kind of burnished, bright pink metal, broken up by minute lines that suggested it was segmented.

“What in the hell is that Hello Kitty-looking stick?” Ned asked, dropping all pretense of reverence.

“That stick,” Heathcliff growled, “and I do not appreciate that reference, by the way, is a binding rod. It will hold your monster in place and as an added effect, you’ll be able to damage him. But _only_ when you’ve got the rod around him.”

Duck raised an eyebrow, “Around?”

“It bends,” Heathcliff replied tersely through grit pointy teeth.

“So, let me see if I’ve got this right,” Ned started, “we can use your rod against the abomination,” he stopped as an involuntary snicker escaped from him, “erm, but only when we hold the rod,” another barely contained laugh, “against him?”

“...Yes,” Heathcliff said, his voice flat and unamused.

“Well, how the hell is that supposed to work?” Duck asked, hands on his hips, “one of us has to like, bull ride this thing to keep it still and hope they don’t die while the others try to kill it?”

“Look, if I had more time, then it would work in a way that made more sense. This is what I’ve got for you now and I think it’s pretty good, all things considered. You grab the rod, it segments, you wrap it around some part of the abomination and hang on at both ends and I don’t know maybe this one,” he gestured to Ned with a massive paw, “shoots a hole through it with the blaster. Then you’ll be fine, you big baby.”

Duck made a face, “I guess?”

“Are you saying you don’t trust the power of my rod?” Heathcliff asked angrily.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, despite the need to hurry, despite every terrible, painful, and exhausting thing that had happened so far that day, Ned and Duck were barely able to stifle their laughter.

“No, no,” Duck choked, as he tried to control himself, “I’m sure your rod’s very powerful.”

“Yeah,” Ned agreed, in a similar state of duress, “we really appreciate your rod.”

Heathcliff rolled his eyes, “Oh, for crying out loud. This, we have time for? It’s very simple, are you going to take my rod or not?”

The two men collapsed helplessly into hysterical laughter as Heathcliff gave them both the stink-eye, sinking wordlessly back out of sight. Duck took a deep breath, wiping his eyes and grabbing the binding rod, which was surprisingly heavy and oddly springy as well.

“Whoo, boy. Ok, that was hilarious but he’s right, we really need to go.”

They quickly ran back up through the catacombs, stumbling over uneven steps to find Aubrey waiting for them at the entrance.

“Is everything ok? Why are we running?”

“Got a call from Indrid,” Duck wheezed, out of breath, “don’t ask, but we gotta get to the gate now!”

The three took off together and as they bolted for the gate Ned angled his head toward Aubrey.

“How’d your thing go?”

Aubrey managed a sort of half-shrug in response. “Apparently my mom’s necklace is some kind of Sylvan power-booster that can make my magic stronger? Which really just gives me even more questions than I had before but hey, bigger, better fireballs!” she finished breathlessly.

“Not in the forest!” Duck snapped automatically.

“Ok, ok, jeez. What did you guys get?”

Ned rolled his eyes, “Something called a binding rod? It’s a big stick that one of us - by which I obviously mean Duck - is gonna have to hold against Rocky so that he can’t teleport and we can actually hurt him.”

They skidded to a stop at the Sylvain side of the gate, Aubrey’s mouth quirking up at the edges as she eyed the weapon, “so you have to hold him down with Heathcliff’s special pink rod?”

“Yes,” Duck said quickly, “and it’s very funny and we had a good laugh about it but there’s no more time for that.”

“Yeah, no, I get that,” Aubrey said, biting the inside of her cheek, “but like, did he at least demonstrate how to properly wield his rod?”

And all three of them broke down into giggles, until Duck finally cleared his throat.

“Ok, that was pretty good...But also no, he did not. Which might be a problem, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

And with that they passed through the gate back into the Monongahela National Forest, hoping for the best, which, in light of everything that had come before, was highly unlikely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a hard time getting past this bit for whatever reason, but I wrote a whole bunch around it, so expect a pretty quick update. Also I made a Spotify playlist because apparently I'm a turbo-nerd: 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/eo616nagsnfeq603l1otg25hd/playlist/4Gf5bpx58pdsjEsZ2ymMxK?si=MMAnXubjTPG7fI0UGLUK5g


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pine Guard takes some casualties

Except for the sound of their shoes crunching down on dead leaves and dirt and the steady drip-drip of the obstinate drizzle, the forest was silent and serene.

“I don’t like this,” Duck muttered, unsheathing Beacon.

“It kinda feels like a horror movie,” Aubrey agreed, “...or maybe Bambi?”

“Indrid said they’d be nearby,” Duck said as he walked slowly forward, still only a few feet from the gate, holding the binding rod in one hand and pointing Beacon out in front of him with the other, the sword keeping his terrible mouth shut for the time being. 

His side was still shooting dulled signals of pain, and he knew it wouldn’t take much more abuse for his ribs to break. But it didn’t matter, he’d be ok, he was tough, he always ended up ok in the end. What was important was making sure everyone else did too.

“Yeah, but he's also said that he’s been wrong before, that it’s not like, an exact science,” Aubrey argued, even as she slipped her mother’s necklace over her head, trying not to shudder as she did it, trying to ignore how heavy it felt, how wrong, like she was breaking some kind of unspoken rule, despite the fact that her mother’s last act was passing it on to her.

“Maybe,” she continued distracting herself with chatter, “he got it wrong and they escaped. Maybe Rocky got tired of chasing them and disappeared again.”

“That’s a nice thought,” Ned replied, looking queasy, “but I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” and he pointed to a plume of smoke rising in the distance above the trees, visible from their spot on the hill.

“Dammit. All right, let’s go,” and Duck took off running towards it, Aubrey and Ned close behind.

Ned was mentally cursing as they moved between the trees. While he had figured after they’d been basically chased into the gate that there would be complications in his plan to tell Aubrey the truth about the robbery, he’d still held out hope that when they came back through that Mama would be waiting for them in the truck, safe, unscathed, and ready to take them back to the lodge, where he would be able to get Aubrey alone. 

Instead, they were walking blind into a situation where nearly anything could happen, most of it very bad, and if something happened and one of them got hurt, or worse...hell, Duck was already hurt. What if Aubrey got hurt too? What if Aubrey got _killed_ …

_Jesus, what is the matter with you? Aubrey’s all supercharged now, she’ll be fine, Duck will be fine. Everyone will be fine. We’ll use the stupid stick, you’ll shoot the motherfucker right in the...face? Face-ish area? And then we can all go home and this bullshit day will be over and you can finally get this whole mess sorted out._

As they got closer to where Ned had seen the smoke curling up from, they began to hear familiar rumblings and far-off roars, glancing at each other nervously, no one wanting to verbally acknowledge it. In the meantime, what little of the sun that had managed to peek through various small patches of clear sky was well on its way to setting, staining the surrounding clouds a bruised pink and purple. Soon it would be dusk, and things would be even more dangerous. Finally, they reached a clearing that was, thankfully, abomination-free, and came upon the source of the smoke.

“Aw, shit, come on!” Duck cried, almost dropping both his weapons in frustration and dismay at the sight of his forestry truck, which was mashed into the broad trunk of a massive tree, smoke rising out from underneath the crumpled hood. 

As Duck continued to swear and kick at the dirt, Aubrey pointed out the empty interior, “At least they were able to get out, maybe they got away somewhere safe.”

Then, from across the clearing, much closer now, they heard what had at this point become Rocky’s telltale bellowing. As all three of them turned in the direction of the noise, Ned raised a hand as if he was about to ask a question in class.

“Compatriots? A thought? I know that running headlong towards certain death and hoping for the best is our whole brand and everything, but, given the circumstances, maybe we should take a moment and try to think of a solid pla - and you’re both already gone.”

And Duck and Aubrey were indeed already racing far ahead of Ned, past Duck’s destroyed truck. 

“Fan-fuckin-tastic.”

He took off after them and it wasn’t long before they were back in front of Rocky, who didn’t seem to notice them just yet, too occupied with pummeling the underbrush as though it was looking for something, which at least meant that it hadn’t yet found the others.

As if on cue, Barclay stumbled out of the nearby shrubbery, trying to move quickly but hampered by Mama, who was slung across his broad back in a fireman’s carry, body limp and face spattered with blood. 

“Barclay!” Aubrey yelled, “over here!” 

And as Barclay’s head snapped in their direction, so did the abomination, both making a beeline for Duck, Ned, and Aubrey. Barclay made it to them first and the four of them beat a quick retreat, sliding into a hiding spot behind a wide stone outcropping jutting out from the forest floor. 

Barclay gently slid Mama to the ground, propping her up against the rocks. Aubrey stared at the blood dribbling down from Mama's hairline, lip quivering, “Is she…?”

“She’s alive,” Barclay assured her, “it takes a lot more than some upstart abomination to kill this ol’ girl.”

“Ok,” Duck exhaled slowly, the others almost able to see the wheels turning in his head, “we’ve got this. We got a weapon from Sylvain. A shitty one but whatever, we’ll keep its attention on us while you get Mama out of here. There’s gotta be someone around who can pick you guys up once you’re out of the forest. Get her to St. Frances and we’ll meet you back at the lodge once we kill this thing.”

And he made it sound so easy, so obviously straightforward, even as a horribly sick feeling clawed at his stomach. Duck was the leader, Duck was the hero, Duck was the chosen one. This was what he did. 

Barclay frowned, “Are you sure?”

They all jumped at something that was most likely the abomination’s gigantic fist slamming into the other side of their hiding place, pebbles and debris showering down on them.

“Yeah, I’m pretty fuckin’ sure, Barclay, go!”

And he hefted Mama back up and took off, yelling “don’t die!” over his shoulder as he did.

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” Duck muttered quietly before running out from behind the rocks, screaming and waving both the rod and Beacon over his head.

“Hey, asshole! Come get me! Over here!”

And Rocky trundled towards Duck, his back to the rapidly diminishing figure of Barclay. Aubrey leapt out after Duck, took a deep breath and focused on her powers. She wasn’t sure what might happen now that she had the necklace on. Maybe she’d be strong enough to kill the abomination on her own, maybe no one else needed to get hurt.

_Ok, hi, magic. How’s it going? How’re you doing? Feeling extra buzzy? Got that good crystal energy stuff going on? ...Yeah, I don’t know what I’m talking about, but if you could just operate basically as normal and blast that rock dude, that would be awesome. Thank you, magic._

And two sizable fireballs all but exploded out from Aubrey’s hands with an intensity that nearly knocked her off of her feet. 

“Woah!” Aubrey wobbled, regaining her footing and looking down at her hands, “holy shit!”

She landed a direct hit on the abomination, who was thrown off balance by the impact of the twin blasts, but unfortunately, seemed otherwise unaffected. Duck used the opportunity to try to jump back onto the thing like before, even as he yelled,

“Aubrey! C’mon, what did I just say?”

“No fire, I’m sorry!” Aubrey called back, “I was just trying to help! This thing,” she said, gesturing to the necklace, “is _really_ strong.”

“That does not,” Duck grunted as he tried to get a solid handhold on the thrashing abomination, “make me feel any better about it.” He squirmed around Rocky, had to jettison Beacon as his sweaty fingers struggled to grab at the other end of the binding rod, which was at least bending around Rocky's head like Heathcliff had said it would.

“Ned! Get ready with the gun!”

“On it!” Called Ned, finally coming out from behind the rock wall, Narf blaster in hand, looking almost competent for a change. 

And Duck managed to secure the rod around Rocky, a faint pink sheen enveloping the abomination as it suddenly was stuck in place, though it continued to try to jerk itself around and throw Duck off, bucking and shaking as it fought against the binding enchantment. And Duck knew he was barely hanging on, hands shaking as he struggled to maintain his grip, every part of him aching, the bruised and probably now broken ribs on his left side hurt so bad it felt like the pain was practically burning through his shirt. There was no time to waste.

“Shoot him!”

Ned fired off a shot and hit Rocky square in its middle. He and Aubrey cheered as the creature was knocked backward, the blast leaving a small crater in its midsection. But as the abomination teetered, Duck felt himself losing his already precarious grip. 

“Shoot him again, I’m losin’ him!”

“ _Shit_ ,” Duck wheezed, and as Ned lined up another shot, Rocky gave one more good shake and Duck lost his hold on the binding rod, felt himself falling, yelling, “watch out!” to the others as he tumbled towards the ground, but not before the now freed and somehow even angrier abomination struck out at him with a forceful, unforgiving blow. Duck crumpled to the ground and did not get back up.

“Duck!” Ned heard himself scream the ranger’s name without fully registering that he was the one doing it. Rocky turned towards Ned, swinging its fists wildly while also trying to stomp him flat. Ned yelped, dropping to the ground and rolling out of the way, avoiding Rocky but hearing a terrible crunching sound as he did. 

“Oh, fuck…” 

Rocky lifted its foot and revealed the splintered remains of the Narf blaster. Ned tried to think fast, his roll had landed him closer to to where Duck was lying, still unmoving, but he needed Rocky off his back. 

“Aubrey!” he yelled, “I’m gonna try to get Duck out of the way, can you distract Rocky?”

“What? How?!”

“I don’t know! Throw more fireballs at him?”

“But Duck _just_ said -”

“He’ll get over it!” Ned snapped.

Aubrey shrugged, “ok, then,” and fired off more blasts of flame, recoiling from their power as she zigzagged around Rocky, once again invulnerable to her hits. 

Meanwhile, Ned grabbed at Duck, hoisting the slightly smaller man up and drag-carrying him back behind the rock outcropping, pausing to scoop up the binding rod, which had unbent itself and come to rest unnoticed beside Duck.

He sat Duck up with his back against the rock, much like Barclay had done for Mama only minutes ago, heart in his throat. 

“Duck, buddy, you ok?”

Ned felt a wash of relief as Duck’s eyes flickered open, but it was clear the knock to the head had left him woozy. Duck started to slide to the side and Ned found himself awkwardly cradling the other man in his arms.

“...Ned? ”

“Yeah, it’s Ned. How’re you doing? What’s the damage?”

“Why’s your nickname Ned?” Duck slurred, “‘cause like, your name’s Edmund, but tha’ doesn’t make any sense. Should be Nedmund, right?”

“Well,” Ned muttered, “that’s not good,” before adding, much louder, “Jesus Christ, Duck, what did we just get done talking about?”

Duck snickered, punch-drunk, “Heathcliff’s big ol’ rod.”

Ned exhaled sharply, “Ok, yeah, I guess I walked into that one. I meant the whole avoiding being constantly concussed thing.”

“‘M tough, I can take it.”

“That’s not the issue here,” Ned insisted. 

“Ned!” he heard Aubrey yell from the other side of the clearing, “a little help would be really awesome right now! Rocky’s super fucking mad and I don’t know how much longer I can do this!”

Ned took quick stock of things. The gun was destroyed and Duck was out of action. Ned had the binding rod and as it stood, there was only one option left that had a chance of killing this thing.

_Fuck._

He re-situated Duck, who was still seeing stars, back up against the rocks and swallowed heavily. 

“Duck,”

“...Nedmund?”

“I’m only saying this because I know you’re not gonna remember it later, but...I’m sorry. For a lot of things. And I’ve always cared about you. Kind of a lot. You’re...I...this Pine Guard shit can really suck and I know I’m bad at it but I stuck with it for you and yeah, that’s pretty pathetic, but hey, I’m a pretty pathetic guy."

Duck didn't reply and Ned decided that this was probably for the best as he stood up and grabbed the binding rod.

"Ok. I’m gonna go now. Stay back here and for God's sake, don't do anything stupid.”

“Wha?” Duck craned his neck, squinting as he tried to focus on Ned, “what’re you doin’?”

“Something really goddamn stupid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the much-longer-than-anticipated delay! Holidays, travel, etc. But I'm back now and will probably have the next bit (which I have labeled "oh fuck it's that chapter") probably tomorrow or even later today.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned tells the truth.

Ned came barreling out from behind the rocks to find Aubrey still leading Rocky around in circles, fighting to stay ahead of him as her exhaustion began to show. She twisted out of the abomination’s way, just managing to avoid being hammered, and saw Ned heading toward her.

“Where’s Duck?”

“Ranger Newton is unfortunately out of commission for the time being.”

“Ok,” Aubrey replied automatically, just for something to say as she quickly tried to run through potential ideas for what to do next. As she did, Ned dropped a into baseball slide, attempting to swing the rod around one of Rocky’s legs and avoid the bucking bronco scenario he’d just seen Duck go through.

As Ned swung the rod, it curled itself around Rocky’s stumpy leg, but before he could get a hand on the other end the abomination kicked out at him, Ned yelping in terror and barely rolling out of the way.

“I'm not sure why I thought that would work.”

“Throw me the rod!” Aubrey shouted as she continued to fireball Rocky to draw him away from Ned, “I can probably whoosh myself up onto him and then -”

“No way,” Ned responded, not waiting for her to finish, “your magic’s the only thing we’ve got left that can kill this thing, you can’t also be holding the reins on it.”

“I...I dunno,” said Aubrey, chewing her lips nervously.

“Trust me,” Ned said as he jumped back to his feet for a second attempt, “I’m not thrilled about it. But the blaster’s gone and I don’t even know where Duck’s sword is or if either of us can even _use_ that thing, so I need you to get me up there. Now get ready!”

And he got another running start as Aubrey, filled with uncertainty, called upon her magic again.

_Please please please don’t toss him up into the trees. Gentle breeze, gentle push. I mean, I’ve got to get him up on top of Rocky so like, not_ too _gentle, but you get what I mean, right, magic? We’re on the same page here? Man, I really hope so._

And as Ned jumped, Aubrey physically pushed her hands out in his direction, not sure if it would actually help the spell but it _felt_ right anyway, and Ned let out an involuntary “woah!” as he flew up a good ten feet or so into the air, managing to grab at Rocky, swing the rod around and successfully grab the other end. As before, the monster went rigid as it was covered in a translucent pink light, shuddering and jerking as it fought against the enchantment.

“Holy shit, I actually did it!” Ned whooped in disbelief.

“Ok, but now what?” Aubrey asked, even though really, she already knew the answer.

Ned did too, and boy, did he ever not like it. But they were out of options and if Rocky got loose a second time, he knew they wouldn’t have a third chance.

“You’ve gotta blast him, Aubrey. And you gotta do it as hard as you can because unlike Duck, I don’t exactly have a wealth of upper-body strength and so we’ve probably only got one shot at this.”

As if to emphasize his point, Rocky attempted to heave itself forward, roaring with fury as Ned clung to its back, piggyback style.

But Aubrey shook her head, backing up as she did, eyes darting around the clearing as if she’d find another solution lying among the trees. 

“What? Ned, no, I don’t know how strong I am with this thing yet, I could kill you! Maybe, _maybe_ if it was Duck because he’s got his Chosen One powers, but you don’t have _any_ powers!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ned replied through grit teeth, “I’m an acceptable loss and you know it! If this thing gets loose it’s going to kill you both and I can’t let that happen. Hurry up and blast it!”

“Well _I_ can’t let _you_ die, so stop saying shit like that and help me think of something else!” Aubrey yelled back. 

“Look at it this way,” Ned said hoarsely in between pained grunts, “if you blast him, I _might_ die. If you don’t, then we all definitely _will_.”

“No, I don’t care! There has to be another way!” she replied, frantically looking around as she desperately racked her brain for ideas.

This wasn’t working, and at this rate, Ned was going to lose his grip on Rocky and that would be the end of it. He should’ve known better, Aubrey would never risk the chance of hurting someone, especially someone she cared about. So he had to do something to fix that, and fast.

And he knew it was going to be awful, every part of it, but he also knew that right now it was the only thing he could think of to protect Aubrey and Duck from the abomination. And even though this wasn’t how he’d planned to do it, at least he’d get to tell Aubrey the truth after all.

“Aubrey!” Ned yelled over the angry cries of a very pissed off monster, “I robbed your house that night! I lied before, I was there with Boyd, we planned it together!”

“What?” and Aubrey froze, said the word so softly Ned couldn’t even actually hear her, he just saw her mouth form the question.

“No, no, no, you told me, you…” she trailed off, wobbling unsteadily, her feet threatening to give way underneath her and Ned hated everything about this moment, hated himself and what he was doing and there wasn’t time, there just wasn’t any time.

“I knew when I overheard you tell Mama in the hospital, but I was too scared and selfish to come clean, I -”

And Rocky managed to wrench an arm free, attempting to paw at Ned, who grimly hung on, while shouting, “Hey! I’m! Not! Done! Talking!” punctuating each word with a sharp kick that only served to send pain shooting up through his leg.

“I can’t believe - I don’t...you were there, you were actually there?” Aubrey cried, her voice somewhere between a sob and a snarl, choked with anger, tears, and confusion. “You never said anything and you were there! You’re supposed to be my friend, Ned, how could you?”

“That’s what I do, Aubrey!” Ned all but roared, his whole body straining with the effort of trying to hang on, “I lie and I steal, and I took everything from you, now BLAST ME!”

It was all too much for Aubrey to process, her body already jacked up on fear and adrenaline and now this sudden revelation, that one of the people she’d come to think of as family, who she thought cared about her, who could always make her laugh, who she’d defended over and over again to everyone who looked at him and only saw a crook and a coward, was actually exactly that and had been lying to her face for weeks now, had been a catalyst for the worst night of her life.

What happened next was not a conscious decision but the result of a day spent with too many emotions bubbling and building inside of her, of the past elbowing its way into the present, of all the things she’d refused to dwell on coming back in full force and then some. Aubrey was exhausted and terrified and furious and heartbroken and felt like she was burning from the inside out. 

Something had to give.

Aubrey Little exploded, a rocket of incendiary flame involuntarily tearing itself from her body and erupting straight towards Ned and Rocky. As she fell forward all she could feel was heat, and all she could hear was Ned’s screams of pain intermingled with the abomination’s. 

And then there was nothing.

She was unconscious for only a minute or so before coming to, ears ringing and limbs aching. She felt like every ounce of whatever all goes into a human body had been squeezed right out of her and she tried to sit up but only managed to pull off rolling onto her side and throwing up.

She lay there like that for a bit, listening to the soft hiss of the rainfall extinguishing small, smoldering embers across the forest floor. And even with these sounds the quiet was deafening...but why was it quiet? There was a monster, there was fighting, nothing should be quiet right now.

Aubrey finally forced herself up and looked around, even as she was hit with waves of nausea. There was no sign of Rocky or Ned, just a massive scorch mark, spinning outward in spiky circles, the binding rod lying at the center of it, seemingly undamaged.

“Ned?” she called out, her voice ragged and raw as it echoed off into trees.

“Ned!”

No answer. Aubrey was alone.

Wait, wait, no, she wasn’t, Duck had been there, where was Duck? Aubrey shakily rose to her feet, head swimming, practically flinging herself at a tree to hang on to for stability as she threw up again. She didn’t know how much of this was from her powers being maxed out by her mom’s necklace and how much was, well, everything else, but it fucking sucked and if this was the power of the Flamebright Pendant, Aubrey could do without it.

As she thought this, she reached unconsciously to her neck to find that the necklace was no longer there. The only thing she could think of was that it might have physically broken off from around her neck in the blast and fallen somewhere in the dirt. Whatever had happened, it didn’t matter, she could always look for it later. All that mattered right now was finding Duck and making sure he was all right.

Aubrey steadied herself, actually feeling a little better after being sick for the second time, slowly stepped away from the tree and, finding that she could stand on her own, stumbled across the charred dirt, calling out for Duck and getting the same echo of her own voice in return.

“Duck? Duck! C’mon Duck, please!”

Finally, she noticed a vaguely Duck Newton-shaped lump leaned up against the large pile of rocks and pointed away from the blast zone, thank God, and she ran toward him, trying not think about how still he was, trying not to think that maybe she wasn’t running toward Duck but toward his body - 

_No! Stop it, shut up shut up shut up…_

And she slid down to the ground, skidding to a stop alongside the fallen forest ranger, a nasty cut on his head and Aubrey thought of how many times she’d been the one to find him like this, been the one to have to hold her breath and hope he wasn’t dead.

“Duck,” she said, her voice much softer but more insistent, torn between trying to jostle him awake and being too scared to even touch him, “Duck, please be ok, I need you to be ok.”

And she tried to check his pulse, holding his wrist, which hung limply in her hand and while she didn’t really feel anything, Aubrey also had no absolutely no idea how to actually check a pulse, this was just how she’d seen it done in movies and so she let his arm drop and instead leaned over his mouth, ear to his lips and she could feel the faint in-and-out of breathing and almost started crying she was so relieved.

“Wake up, Duck. I don’t know what to do.”

Aubrey looked up at sky and saw the faint twinkle of stars in the holes of the dark clouds, between the black branches of the trees and started to cry after all, rain mixing with tears.

“Please don’t leave me here alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a life ends, but makes sure to leave something behind.

Everything hurt.

This was bad. Not just because pain, itself, was bad, but because it meant that he was alive, and if he was alive then it was safe to assume that things probably hadn’t gone according to plan. 

He was lying on his back, he was pretty sure, eyes not yet opened, couldn’t handle it with all the sensory overload. It felt like every part of his body had been waiting on his brain to wake up so they could all yell at the same time about how much they fucking _hurt_. 

Still, if he was alive, which seemed to be the case, hurting was probably better than not hurting. If something didn’t hurt then there was a good chance it wasn’t attached to him anymore.

Now there was a scary thought.

Ok, wiggle the feet, first left and then right and holy shit that was not great but they were definitely both there, which means the legs were as well. So far so good. 

He knew his arms were still there because they felt like they weighed about five tons each, and so he focused on curling his fingers, even just a little, trying to count out ten in a muddled haze of semi-consciousness. They all seemed present and accounted for, as far as he could tell, although some were definitely broken.

What did that leave? He could hear the fuzz of nighttime forest noises, the steady drip of rain, so no ears blown off. Eyes, though. Fire could blind people, he was pretty sure he’d read that somewhere, that sounded right and one eye wouldn’t be too bad, he’d could pull off an eye-patch, it’d give him an air of roguish charm. But to lose both...well, there was only one way to find out.

Ned opened his eyes with excruciating slowness, initially panicking as he was greeted with the same blackness that had lurked behind his eyelids but, after several frantic blinks, he felt his heart settle as the dark outline of trees and branches came into focus. 

He was probably burned pretty badly but that was to be expected. The abomination would have gotten the worst of it, shielded him from getting too fried. Ned hoped he still had his eyebrows. He’d always liked his eyebrows. 

But all the important bits seemed to be there, eyebrows notwithstanding, which really was the best case scenario, considering. 

Although there was no telling what was happening on the inside. Breathing was definitely no picnic, which could mean anything from broken ribs to a punctured lung. There could be bones sticking out where they shouldn’t be, his heart could have been beating the blood out of his body, there was no way in hell he wasn’t concussed and who knew what the effects of that would be if no one came along to help him.

Where even was he?

Not where the fight had been because otherwise Aubrey and Duck would be there, most likely openly weeping over his presumably mangled body.

Unless they were dead.

How was that for cruel irony? Ned Chicane does his absolute damnedest to get himself killed to save his friends and ends up being the only one to survive. 

No. No fucking way. 

It wasn’t just that it was truly and disgustingly unfair in a way he wasn’t prepared to deal with in his current condition, it didn’t make any sense. It had all happened so fast but he was certain that Aubrey’s blast had been right on target. Away from her, away from Duck. Come on, brain, put whatever’s left of yourself to work and _think_.

He must’ve let go of the rod. That wasn’t surprising, he’d barely had a grip on it even before he and Rocky were hit with a magical blast of fire. Man, but he hoped he’d at least hung on long enough to really jack up that pile of rocks. Must not have been enough to kill it though, at least not immediately because if he’d dropped the rod and he wasn’t with Aubrey and Duck anymore then it seemed safe to say Rocky had pulled his disappearing act again, this time taking Ned with him.

Jesus, even just following this train of thought from Point A to Point B was exhausting. He groaned, closing his eyes before immediately jerking them back open as he heard his groan, or at least a similar one, echoed times twenty, very, very close by. 

Like his immediate left.

And Ned, who had been staring straight up until this point, prepped himself to turn his head, taking a deep breath as he did. His efforts were successful and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Rocky lying next to him, cracked, blackened, and broken. It shuddered and groaned again, some kind of smoke or steam rising from a chasm in its middle.

“Hello, there, darling,” Ned croaked, his throat raw, “aren’t you a sight for sore eyes? Well, not really, but still, I’ve woken up next to worse.”

It figured that when he actually had a good quip no one was around to appreciate it but the dying rock monster. 

Ned wondered vaguely if he was dying too. The whole idea had been to not have to feel it, to go out in a blaze (maybe not the best word) of, well, he didn’t exactly deserve glory, not after goading Aubrey into shooting him by playing on her emotions but maybe something glory-adjacent? 

Penance was probably the better word. Going out in a blaze of penance. 

Still, things were at least starting to hurt less, or maybe he just wasn’t noticing as much, too preoccupied with watching Rocky split apart even further, gouts of steam pouring out from exposed crevices. With a partially lucid mesmerization, Ned looked on as the chunks of rock began to crumble away to dust, a strange glowing form rising out from the shell of the abomination.

It was another one of those now almost familiar creatures, a little four-armed being made of bright light that shown against the damp and darkened gloom. It cocked its head at Ned, looking peaceful but slightly confused. Ned wasn’t sure what to do or say, was struck dumb just like the first time he’d seen one of these things at the water park after he'd almost drowned.

Something else caught its eye and it reached for an object out of Ned’s view and, looking pleased, dropped whatever it was into Ned’s upturned hand. It nodded in a satisfied sort of way before quickly disintegrating and evaporating into the air, just like the others had.

Ned shakily released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and tried to feel what exactly he’d been handed. It was something small but weighty, with something else curled around it. Slowly, Ned brought his hand to his chest, dropping whatever it was on top of him.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he wheezed, and he couldn’t stop laughing even though it hurt. He laughed so hard he cried. 

It was Aubrey’s mother’s necklace.

“Just had to take something one last time, huh?” He muttered. He hoped it would somehow find its way back to Aubrey, much quicker this time. He also hoped she wouldn’t hate him too much, although that almost felt like more than he had any right to ask. And Duck...ah, why even bother thinking about that?

Ned was really and truly alone now and didn’t see much point in calling out for help when the others could be miles away. The forest was huge and deep and the night was well-set in. He’d most likely end up screaming himself hoarse for nothing, and the weird little glowing person had left him with a strange feeling of serenity. 

As Ned began to lose track of himself, a memory flitted into his head, something Victoria had said to him at the beginning of the end, when her sickness had finally started to overtake her but before he’d been forced to have her hospitalized. They’d been at the Cryptonomica, and she’d asked him if he’d really believed in Bigfoot and monsters and all that. And he’d said no because how was he supposed to know that Bigfoot was right there living on the other side of town, slinging sandwiches?

But that wasn’t the part of the memory he was thinking about now. It was later in the conversation, when she’d looked him up and down, seen through him in a way that few people had ever been able to. 

_“I think you were brought here for a reason, Ned.”_

“Well shit, Vicky,” he murmured, thoughts and words slurring themselves together, “if this was it, I hope I did all right. I tried. I really, _really_ fuckin’ tried.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next-day update so you can't say I left you hanging. Except for at the end of this chapter, I guess. Oops.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is despair, renewed purpose, and cautious optimism, or "Duck Finally Gets It"

Aubrey sat there holding Duck, huddled against the rain for minutes that felt more like long, horrible and unending hours before he finally stirred, groaning in response to what felt like the mother of all hangovers as Aubrey’s worried face slowly swam into focus.

“Are we dead?” he asked, thick and garbled, his tongue somehow too big for his mouth.

“Not yet,” Aubrey said, her voice heavy with relief as she wrapped herself around Duck in a tight hug that both of them were entirely too sore for but needed so badly that Duck didn’t even try to fight it.

“It’s ok,” he murmured, even though he was pretty sure it wasn’t, “it’s ok, kid, it’s ok.”

“It’s not though,” Aubrey confirmed, skating back on the edge of tears, having never left it, really. 

Duck gingerly reached up to touch his forehead, “what’s this?”

“You were bleeding pretty bad and I didn’t know what else to do, so I tore off a sleeve and like, tied it around your head,” Aubrey answered.

Duck, still largely out of it, smiled vaguely, “Do I look like the Karate Kid?”

Aubrey snorted, hiccuped a few giggles, “Maybe if he was in like, his mid-life crisis.”

Duck chuckled and then groaned at how much even that hurt, made an attempt to get up that immediately failed and, resigned to his spot on the ground, instead asked, “Speaking of mid-life crisis, where’s Ned?”

And when Aubrey didn’t answer, when she slumped down and wrapped her arms around her legs, Duck felt his heartbeat quicken, a queasy feeling spreading itself across every part of him.

“Aubrey, what happened?”

“It wasn’t on purpose,” she mumbled, burying her face in her knees, “you have to believe me, I didn’t mean to do it, there was just so much of everything happening at once and I couldn’t control it and -”

“Aubrey,” Duck cut her off, his voice gentle but shaking, trying to sound calm even as fear stabbed at him. He reached out and cupped her shoulders with both hands, “it’s ok. Just tell me what happened.”

She looked up and met Duck’s gaze, fresh tears cutting tracks through the dirt and ash on her face. 

“Ned was there, Duck. The night my mom died. He lied to me, to everybody. He and his partner robbed my house together and he overheard me telling Mama about it when we were all at the hospital and he had the necklace and he just...he didn’t say anything. If you hadn’t found it he probably never would’ve.”

Duck’s head had already been spinning pretty badly and this only made things worse. It wasn’t like it was completely out-of-character for Ned to do something like that, to obscure and avoid and evade the truth as much as possible. But not to them, not to his friends. Or so he’d thought, anyway.

“Holy shit. Aubrey, I’m...goddamn...How the hell,” Duck started, only to stop and revise to, “wait, no, _why_ the hell did he tell you this in the middle of an abomination fight?”

Aubrey exhaled slowly, in small and uneven bursts, “he got the binding rod around Rocky and told me to blast it and I didn’t want to do it because I was scared I’d hurt him, because I just...I just keep hurting people. And that was when he told me...I think he did it so I’d go through with it. He wanted me to _want_ to kill him to get me to save us. I don’t know what happened next, exactly...I just sort of blew up. And then I passed out, I think. And when I woke up, Ned and Rocky were both gone.”

Duck stared, dumbfounded, trying to process this deluge of information, struggled to make it all fit together in his head: Ned, the coward, who had so readily sacrificed himself to save them. Ned, their friend, who had hurt Aubrey in this terrible way. 

Ned, who had been trying to be a better man. 

“I didn’t mean to!” Aubrey cried, reading Duck’s expression as shock that she’d tried to kill Ned, “it was an accident, you know I never would’ve -”

“I know,” Duck replied quickly, his hands still on her shoulders. He pulled her into another hug, a much softer one this time.

“I know you would never,” Duck repeated, “that’s not you.”

“I don’t know how to feel,” Aubrey said, crying hard now, her chin resting on Duck’s shoulder, “everything’s all mixed up. It hurts so bad and I’m...I’m so mad at Ned, but he didn’t even care if he died, he just wanted you and me to be safe and I don’t want him to be dead, I really don't. It’s all so fucked up.”

“It is,” Duck agreed, finally letting Aubrey go before adding, “no one but Ned could be such a perfect combination of a selfish and selfless dipshit.”

“...Do you think he’s dead?” Aubrey asked, so quiet it was almost a whisper.

Duck managed to successfully pull himself up, leaning heavily on the rocks, and surveyed the scorched area. He frowned as he tried to think through the throbbing in his head.

“I dunno, I don’t think even you could blast that thing so hard that they...y’know, disintegrated. Maybe it disappeared again.”

“Maybe,” Aubrey murmured in hopeful agreement, her eyes on the binding rod, “then he could still be alive out there somewhere. We could go find him.”

Duck was less sure. “There’s just too many things we don’t know, though. Rocky could’ve gotten him anyway and even if he didn’t, they could be anywhere and we don’t even know where to start lookin.’ Even if he is out there and he’s not dead, he could be before we ever get close to findin’ him."

He sank back down to the ground, feeling utterly overwhelmed and useless. Even as he’d said it, Duck refused to accept that Ned was truly gone, that the conman hadn’t found a way to weasel out of even death itself. Because if Ned was dead that meant no more stupid jokes that somehow always made him laugh, no more wildly overconfident assurances that the three of them would conquer any obstacle that stood in their way. No more of those quiet moments that would come when they were out together getting a drink, the handful of silences that Ned didn’t feel compelled to fill with nonsense, that he felt comfortable enough to just let sit between the two of them.

Duck felt his heart ache even as he tried to reconcile what Ned had done to Aubrey. But there was no point, everything was all jumbled together. He’d felt that same ache, that same fear when he’d seen Ned lying in a hospital bed after the incident at Leo’s. That idiot. It was zero to sixty every time with him, it seemed. Running and hiding or jumping directly in the line of fire with no regard for himself, without the magic safety nets that Duck and Aubrey could rely on.

“Goddammit,” Duck muttered, “why is it that every time we’re fightin' something and I end up unconscious I wake up to find Ned’s tried to pull some crazy hero bullshit and get himself killed? It’s like me getting hurt sets off some kind of Dumbass Alarm or…”

Duck trailed off, eyes widening as Aubrey stood in front of him, saying nothing but looking at him pointedly, arms crossed.

“Oh. Ooohhhhh. Oh, _shit_.”

Aubrey, too exhausted for much else, simply shrugged and said, “duh.”

“Christ,” Duck groaned, head in hands, “this has been the longest fuckin’ day of my life.”

And because it was just that kind of day, the words were barely out of Duck’s mouth when he felt the muffled hum of his phone vibrating in his pocket. 

“...Seriously?”

Aubrey looked on as Duck fished out his phone, perplexed and impressed. “How is it our magical gun breaks into pieces and your phone is completely fine?”

“S’a sturdy model,” Duck answered absently, swiping the lock screen and pressing it to his ear, already knowing who he’d hear on the other end.

“I’m so glad you're all right, Duck,” Indrid said with a sigh of relief, “you have to understand that I had no idea this was going to happen.”

Duck, still dazed, started to ask, “What do you me -”

“What I mean is, as I’ve explained, I see a variety of futures, hundreds, and I try to process them all as well as I can and sometimes it’s only small variations but then there are also wild unlikelihoods that throw a wrench in the whole thing, like when you decided to save our friend Billy. Ned’s actions were an even bigger outlier than that, just, way, way out there, and so I’m sorry, but I just didn’t see it coming.”

“It’s ok,” Duck answered, almost automatically, “it’s not your fault.”

And he waited for the other shoe to fall, for Indrid to say the words and confirm the last thing Duck wanted to hear.

“Ned’s still alive, and I know where he is.”

Or not. 

“What?! Where? How is he? How far away -”

“Close enough that you can get there on foot, about a mile immediately east of your current position. And he’s not doing great, but he’s alive, for now.”

“Shit, ok, hang on, I think I got that compass app on my phone, my head’s all turned around. I just need a second to get myself together.”

“Duck,” Indrid cut in before pausing to clear his throat, stalling while trying to figure out how to say what came next, “I feel like I should tell you, there are _a lot_ more futures where you find him and…”

“He’s already gone,” Duck finished, just barely managing to keep his voice level, even as some small, detached section of his brain was struck by the fact that for once he’d been the one to finish one of Indrid’s sentences. 

“I’m not trying to be cruel,” Indrid continued, his voice thin and wavering through the phone speaker, “but I want to be honest with you.”

“I understand,” Duck replied slowly.

“I know you do.”

“Thanks for your help, Indrid.”

“Of course,” he replied, “Oh, and Duck?”

“Yeah?”

“I know that the odds very much aren’t in your favor right now, but I will say that if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you and your friends...it’s that the odds can go fuck themselves.”

And Duck allowed himself a small, spiteful smile and chuckled softly.

“Thanks, Indrid.”

Duck hung up and turned to Aubrey, “Do you think you can find your way to where Mama crashed the truck?”

Aubrey nodded slowly, “Yeah, it’s just a little ways back.” 

“Ok, there are a couple extra flashlights in the glove compartment, at least one of them should still be working. How’s your phone?”

Aubrey dug around in her pocket and produced her phone, the screen now made up of a spiderweb of cracks that fractured her lock screen image of Dr. Harris Bonkers into jagged fragments. 

“Aw, man,” she groaned, shoulders slumped, “I literally _just_ got this screen replaced!”

Duck rolled his eyes and Aubrey quickly straightened up, adding, “Er, I mean, the battery’s low, but it seems like it still works.”

“Then give the lodge a call and try to get out of here. Hopefully, Mama and Barclay made it back into town all right, and you should too. I’ll...well, I’ll call in a bit, let you guys know where I am.”

“Where are you going?” Aubrey asked, her head still swimming, “you’re even worse off than me, we need to stick together.”

Duck shook his head, immediately regretting it because holy shit did that ever hurt. He blinked hard several times, trying to steady his vision, trying to steady all of him, really.

“Indrid said he saw Ned, told me where to find him. He thinks he might still be alive and if he is, I’m bringin’ that dumb son of a bitch home. And I need you out there, getting help because I _am_ in pretty bad shape and who knows what Ned’ll be like. You gotta go get the backup, Aubrey. I know you’ve been through hell and that it ain’t right to ask more from you -”

Before he could finish, Aubrey grabbed Duck’s hand, squeezing it firmly, a determined look on her bruised and dirt-streaked face.

“You don’t have to ask. I’ve got this. And...and I hope he’s alive. Although I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next if he is.”

And after a long moment filled to the absolute brim with unspoken thoughts and feelings, they parted ways, Aubrey heading back toward Duck’s truck while he went east, eyes on his phone’s compass, into the gnarled and grassy dark, equally scared of what he might or might not find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few more chapters ready to go and was gonna be evil and take my time, but now that TAZ is back I guess I better bang 'em out and start wrapping up what became a way longer story than I originally thought it would be. So, you'll get quick updates at least!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Duck stumbles through the woods and makes yet another discovery

Duck’s thoughts were racing, easily outpacing him as he stumbled around in the dark, the wet ground slick beneath his boots. 

This was his fault. He had let himself get knocked out _again_ , leaving the others in an impossible position. He should’ve been the one to take the blast from Aubrey. He was the hero, he was the Chosen One, it was his job to protect people, to take the big hits. Sometimes it felt like that was the only thing he was good for, and if he couldn’t even do that, couldn’t protect his friends, then what the hell was he even doing?

_“You’re kind, and you care and you give people the benefit of a doubt...you’re trustworthy and - and good, and people can sense that and it has nothing to do with being the Chosen One and everything to do with being Duck Newton.”_

At the time, Duck had been too busy trying to deny Ned’s words and convince himself that he was only as good as the protection he could offer those he cared about, too focused on trying to ignore the feelings that had gotten all stirred up inside him. 

It was only now as he struggled through the darkness, trying to keep himself in line with the compass and somehow track his distance, that he was struck by the blunt finality of what Ned had said. Ned was never someone to speak so frankly, to not perform an elaborate tap dance around whatever point he was trying to make. He said those things to Duck like they were the last things he ever would. 

But he couldn’t have known how that fight would go, that he’d get blown to kingdom come and then some. Still, it was clear to Duck now that these had been meant as parting words, that Ned hadn't planned to stick around. But why? 

Duck didn’t have an answer, but it wasn’t as though there was any shortage of other things slamming around in his exhausted brain for him to think about.

Oddly, he wasn’t nearly as surprised as Aubrey had been at the revelation that Ned had lied about robbing her family’s house. Maybe it was because he’d known Ned for so much longer, had seen more of the shape of the past that Ned had left behind before coming to Kepler, and had a better grasp on what made the older man tick. He knew that Ned feared being alone almost as much as Duck feared being with someone else. Like, really being with them, in the way that he had talked about with Aubrey. 

Duck almost couldn’t believe that had been today. It seemed impossible for so many things to be packed into a single day that somehow still had yet to end. This prompted Duck to think back further to his fight with Ned that, in a way, had kickstarted so much of this whole mess. If they hadn’t fought, Duck would never have found the necklace, and would Ned have been so quick to sacrifice himself if the guilt hadn’t compelled him to, or if Duck hadn’t said those things to him?

 _“You want a medal? You want a special congratulations where everyone says thank you and tells you what a great person you are? Because no one else gets that. We just do the thing. None of us asked for this, but we do it!”_

Duck felt sick remembering, but maybe that hadn’t mattered at all, maybe Ned had just understood that if he hadn’t acted, then all three of them would probably have died. And the more Duck thought about it, the more it seemed, in a weird way, such a Ned thing to have done, his confusing and contradictory brand of bravery and cowardice that let him confess the truth to Aubrey in a way that made it so he didn’t have to be around to deal with the consequences.

And then there was the other thing. The thing he’d realized back in the clearing with Aubrey that he had been carefully avoiding as it popped up at the edges of each thought but could no longer ignore. As stupid as Duck thought Ned had been for all the times he’d put himself between Duck and whatever thing was threatening his life, Duck now felt even more stupid for not seeing these acts for what they really were. Christ, the man had jammed a walking stick into the open mouth of a flaming bear monster, had hurled himself at God knows what speed into a giant fucking sign all because Duck had been in danger. 

And he’d never said anything, not even when Duck had accused him of being a coward earlier. He’d been full of self-righteous anger as he listed his contributions to the team, but hadn’t even come close to implying that he’d done all those things for Duck. 

Or had he?

Duck fuzzily recalled Ned dragging him away from Rocky after he’d hit the ground, of him saying something about Duck and the Pine Guard. But it was all a blur, and he was having a hard enough time putting one foot in front of the other without forcing himself to try and remember more than that.

So Ned liked him. Duck bristled at “liked,” it felt so high-school, with images of passing notes and making out under the bleachers. Loved? Oof, he wasn’t nearly ready to confront that one, there was too much baggage, too many assumptions that would need to be made. And anyway “love” was a heavy word that Duck strained under the weight of. He loved his family, he loved his sister, but for him, that love mostly just involved worrying about them almost constantly.

Love, for Duck, meant being even more afraid than he already was that someone he cared about would get hurt, with the added bonus of being afraid that he’d get hurt as well. It was just one of the many reasons that, while Duck enjoyed a casual friendship with almost everyone in town, he rarely ever let anyone further in than that. 

But there had been a time, years and years ago when he’d first gotten to know Ned, that he might’ve considered it. Possibly. Perhaps. 

Not that he’d say so. To anyone. Ever. 

Even though Ned was Duck’s opposite in nearly every way, he’d been undeniably charmed by him, and how could he not be? How else could Ned get away with his various shady and often outright illegal shenanigans without a boatload of natural charm?

So yeah, there had been...chemistry. That was fair. But for all that Ned talked there was so much he didn’t say, walls in place that were, in truth, similar to Duck’s own, meant to keep themselves safe. But the two men’s methods of deflection were wildly different and in the end Ned’s were just too much, Ned himself was too much, and Duck, overwhelmed, had retreated back into the comfortable realm of friendship, and if Ned had ever felt anything more than that, he never showed it. 

And as the years had gone on, Duck felt justified in his decision. Ned was a good friend, and his heart was (usually) in the right place, but it had become apparent to Duck that when it came down to the wire, to the bottom line, Ned’s highest priority in a given situation was Ned, full stop. 

Or maybe that was something Duck had been telling himself to make it easier to stay away and avoid being vulnerable, being put in a position where he could be hurt because almost everything about today was proving that wrong. Yes, Ned was still fucking up on a mind-boggling scale and this whole situation with Aubrey was...well it was definitely _something_ and would have to be dealt with one way or another, but it was clear that Ned was no longer number one on the man’s personal list of concerns.

But none of that mattered if he was dead.

And Duck wasn’t sure what scared him more, that he wouldn’t be able to find Ned, or that he would, except that it would be too late. If he wasn’t so tired, wasn’t so banged up and beaten and struggling to keep himself together, then he might’ve stopped and even laughed at the realization that if love meant being afraid for someone, then, in this moment at least, he was undoubtedly in love with Ned Fuckin’ Chicane.

\-------------------

 

Duck wasn’t sure how far he’d walked. It had to have been a mile by now, he felt as though he’d been walking forever, trying to keep a steady pace, avoiding an all-out run because he’d be likely to pass out again or otherwise trip and eat shit and injure himself to the point where he’d need his own rescue. 

He had to be close, he had to. He toyed with the idea of calling Indrid but figured that since Indrid hadn’t already called him again, there probably wasn’t any new information he could offer. 

Or maybe there was and he just couldn’t bring himself to relay it to Duck.

“Ned!” Duck cried out, cupping his hands around his mouth, “Ned! Can you hear me?” 

It occurred to him after he’d done this that Rocky could very well be alive, undoubtedly pissed, and now coming to smash Duck into a fine pulp, but he couldn’t hear any far-off sounds of tell-tale roaring or thrashing. Still, maybe he should’ve let Aubrey come with him after all. 

No, that didn’t feel right. Not after everything she’d just been through. If Rocky was still out there, Duck would just have to square up and deal with it. He had no idea what exactly that would entail, but he’d cross that bridge when he got there. In the meantime, all he could do was stumble around and try to make himself heard, ears straining as he listened for a response that wasn’t the rain tip-tapping into muddy puddles. 

“Ned!”

Still nothing.

Duck brushed aside a leafy branch as he skidded down a small slope, almost losing his balance. He paused to steady himself, taking in his surroundings, dark shapes huddled against darker ones, lit by the dim glow of his forestry-issued mini-flashlight. He noticed a massive, broken-up pile of rocks that looked as though they’d been shattered by an enormous bolt of lightning. His breath caught in his throat as he crept closer, peering over what almost certainly had to be the remains of the abomination to see Ned, splayed out on his back, eyes closed, bloodied, broken, and still. 

And the sight of big, loud, bombastic Ned, always moving, always talking, now lying motionless, now looking so small next to what remained of the abomination broke something in Duck that he hadn’t even realized was there, and for a second, everything stopped. Rain paused in mid-air and he couldn’t move, he couldn’t blink, he couldn’t make a sound, he felt like his heart couldn’t even beat. And then the moment passed and Duck vaulted over the rocks to Ned’s side, torn between wanting to scoop him up into his arms but also terrified to touch him, had no idea how injured he might be.

If he was alive. 

God, please let him be alive.

Hands shaking, Duck gently moved Ned so that the other man’s head was resting on Duck’s lap. He was limp and wrong and so horribly empty-looking.

“Ned?” he whispered, not sure why he was whispering, what the point of it was, felt tears pinpricking at the edges of his eyes. 

“C’mon, you stupid bastard. You still have to say ‘I told you so’ and that this was a bad plan and that Ned ‘Hero’ Chicane had to step in and save the day.”

Duck was crying now, and Duck didn’t cry, not because of any assertions of manly toughness but because he just _didn’t_. He was level-headed, he was even-keeled, if he did get upset he was always practical about it but as he sat in the mud, cradling his friend’s body, there didn’t seem to be anything else he could do and so he didn’t even try to stop himself.

“I’m sorry, Ned. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. And I’m sorry I never noticed. I just...I just wish I could tell you that. I would do _anything_ -”

Duck’s voice cracked and his shoulders quaked as he gripped Ned tighter, his whole body trembling with each fresh sob.

“How ‘bout you stop squeezing me so damn hard for a start?”

“Holy shit!” Duck cried out, way too loudly, probably, but who even cared? Ned shifted slightly, wincing from the pain of even this small movement, looking up at Duck with blackened eyelids. 

“Hey,” he said, his voice raspy and worn down, “do I still have my eyebrows?”

And Duck sputtered, a hysterical noise that was some tangled combination of laughter and tears escaping out from him.

“Yeah, I mean, mostly.”

And without thinking, Duck pulled Ned in close and kissed him hard, jerking himself away nearly just as quickly, heart pounding as he almost immediately started panicking at the look of surprise and confusion on Ned’s face.

“I have a concussion!” Duck blurted, “I’m concussed. I don’t - I - I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t really see how that’s a problem,” Ned replied, still sounding weak but already more like himself, “as I too, am definitely concussed and therefore neither of us can be held responsible for our actions.”

He somehow managed to draw himself back up against Duck, leaning on the other man and going in for another kiss. And that kiss was everything, it was pain and relief and exhaustion and ache and raw, wild joy and neither of them wanted to be the one to end it. 

And far away from the woods, in a battered old Winnebago at the Eastwood Campground and RV Park, a mothman punched the air and let out a cheer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah it's a ridiculously over-used cliche but also _I don't care_


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are tangled conversations, semi-conscious musings, and one more car ride.

“How long?” Duck asked, sitting with his back against what used to be Rocky, Ned slumped against him, most of him still lying in Duck’s lap, head leaning against the ranger’s shoulder. Ned laughed in a small and quiet way before answering.

“A long, long time. Almost as long as I’ve known you.”

“You never said anything though?” Duck replied, phrasing it as a question as he absently played with Ned’s hair, which for Duck was a fairly intimate show of affection that nonetheless felt strangely natural, that assured him that Ned was still there, that this was real and he wasn’t going to disappear somehow.

“Because it seemed pretty obvious that you weren’t interested,” Ned answered, laughing again, “I wasn’t gonna try and force anything! And, y’know, just being your friend was enough...Not that I never thought about it,” he added, with a thoroughly disconcerting smirk.

“Jesus, Ned, if you make a joke about jerkin’ off I swear I’m going to leave you here.”

“You said it, not me.”

They were quiet again for a moment before Ned looked at Duck, a curious expression on his face.

“So, how long have you been carrying a torch for ol’ Ned?”

Duck rolled his eyes, “It’s hard to say. I mean, I ‘spose I liked you back then too, but, well, I have a hard time...Look, have you seen me with literally anyone else in all the while you’ve known me?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

“Exactly. And anyway it just didn’t seem like somethin’ that would’ve worked out, y’know?”

When Ned didn’t answer, Duck worried that he’d said the wrong thing and hurt his feelings, only to feel Ned start to slide down the side of him. Duck shifted, trying to nudge him back up as carefully as he could.

“C’mon Ned, you gotta stay awake, man. You know that, you gotta just hang in until I hear back from Aubrey. Help’s on the way.”

“Mmmm, don’t wanna…”

“Don’t care,” Duck said, adjusting himself against Ned, “you’re only allowed to die so many times in one day.”

“What’s the point?” Ned muttered, “soon as we’re back ‘m just gonna have to leave…” 

Nonetheless, he obliged, trying to sit up a bit as he continued, his gaze firmly trained on the ground, unable to look Duck in the eye. 

“I ruined Aubrey’s life, Duck. And I lied to her and then I _really_ fucked the dog by dropping it all on her at the worst possible time so she’d save you guys. I hadn’t exactly planned on sticking around for the aftermath.”

Duck looked a little bewildered, “I mean, there’s a lot to unpack there, yeah. But, uh, you’re tellin’ me that you would’ve rather _died_ than have to actually talk to Aubrey and deal with this?”

“...maybe.”

“Ned, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Ned sighed and attempted something like a shrug, “A lot.”

“And look, for what it’s worth,” he continued, “I was gonna tell her the truth after we got back from Sylvaine before all this Rocky shit happened and it wasn’t like I was going to be hanging around after that anyway. Why do you think I told you all that sentimental crap earlier?”

“Because you thought you’d never see me again,” Duck replied. Well, that was one thing explained. But Ned was still talking.

“So I’m sorry, but as soon as I can walk out of the hospital, the Chicane train is leaving the station.”

Duck eyed the extensive catalog of injuries Ned had collected, “that might be awhile.”

“Well, then I guess I’ll just have to accept Mama murdering me in my hospital bed,” Ned replied, trying to play it off with a chuckle that trailed off sadly.

“...Not that I can really blame her. Or Aubrey, or you...I didn’t...I didn’t expect anyone to ever be shedding any kind of tears over me. We both know I’m not worth it.”

“Shut up with that,” Duck muttered.

“I don’t think you hate me, though,” Ned continued, ignoring Duck much like he usually would if he was in the middle of a thought, “even after all this, and I know, y’know, that it’s pretty pitiful, but I need to know why. Because I sure as hell can’t figure it. If I were you, I'd hate me.”

He paused and cracked a painful, bitter smile, “Hell, I _do_ hate me.”

Duck struggled to find a way to put what he was feeling into words. And now Ned was looking at Duck, still smiling bitterly even as his eyes pleaded for any kind of answer. 

“I don’t hate you,” Duck finally managed to get out, his voice low and quiet, “You annoy the living hell out of me and have for years now but I never hated you. We’re...we’re _different_ people, with different lives and ways of doing things and it was probably very different things that broke us, but we’re both broken in the same way. Scared of the same things. And I know we care about the same things too. And so even if I think you’re a selfish dumbass bastard -”

“Hey, who told you my middle name?” Ned murmured tiredly.

Duck laughed despite himself, “ - I couldn’t ever hate you.”

“I think,” Duck said slowly, unsure if he was making sense but hoping very much that he was, “that the Ned you hate is one none of us really know. It’s the Ned who robbed Aubrey’s house and stole from people and didn’t give a shit. But I don’t think you’re that guy anymore and that you haven’t been for a long time.”

And he felt Ned slipping again, drifting off and he tried to shift himself but even if he did have all the magical enhancements of a hero, Duck had still gotten the living hell kicked out of him and, truth be told, wasn’t all that much better off than Ned. 

He was so tired, so unbelievably tired, that he didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep himself until he felt something moving underneath him, felt himself bouncing gently and his eyelids fluttered open and closed a few times before he could keep them open and let his surroundings come into focus. 

He was in the backseat of a car that was bouncing down the gravel path just outside the forest. He still felt Ned’s weight against him and as he turned his head slightly he saw that was indeed the case, and that the other man was still slumped against him, unconscious. His movements caught the attention of the front passenger, who wriggled around to face Duck and was revealed to be Aubrey, looking about as worse for wear as the rest of them.

“You found us?” Duck asked, even though the answer seemed fairly obvious. It was more something for him to say than anything else.

And Aubrey, exhausted and with her insides all burned up, grinned like she’d won the goddamn lotto, “hell yeah, we did. Pine Guard, baby!”

Duck smiled back with significantly less wattage, though it was equally heartfelt. He exhaled slowly, finally allowing himself to feel safe.

“Man, I am so ready to go home.”

This was answered by a snort from the driver’s seat, followed by a voice he identified as Barclay saying, “the only place you three idiots are going is the fucking hospital.”

“Hi, Barclay. Hey, who’s car is this?” Duck asked as he examined the interior in a hazy squint.

“Leo’s,” Barclay answered, “he figured he owed y’all one for the thing at the general store.”

“Oh,” Duck answered, unsure of why he found this so funny but continuing to smile nonetheless, “that’s nice.”

Suddenly, Ned groaned, eyes blinking open even though he still seemed mostly asleep.

“Ahbry,” he mumbled, collapsing her name into a syllable and a half.

“Ned, don’t try to move, you’re just gonna hurt yourself,” Aubrey warned, her face darkening. 

Ned ignored her, biting back a yelp of pain as he reached into a ragged pocket and produced the Flamebright pendant. And Aubrey couldn’t stop the small gasp that escaped from her throat as she gently took the necklace back. Ned looked at her, sort of, anyway, eyes bleary and unfocused.

“I fucked up givin’ it back prop’ly the last couple times. Not gonna do it a third.”

Aubrey nodded, not trusting herself to say anything. Necklace returned, Ned leaned back in his seat, propping himself back up against Duck, who was looking out the window as the grey and cloudy sky was slowly shot through with early morning light. 

“Hey,” he whispered to no one in particular, “it finally stopped raining.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I had a motherfucker of a time motivating myself to finish this just because everything in the show had changed so much but I didn't want to leave everybody hanging so close to the end. So, better late than never, I guess, and only one more chapter to go!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which confining Ned to a hospital bed is literally the only way to keep him from running away from a conversation

It was a while before Ned had sufficiently recovered enough to be able to think with anything approaching clarity. And even then, so much of what had happened after almost getting blown apart by Aubrey was a jumbled-up blur of pain and things he either half-remembered or maybe hadn’t even actually happened at all. 

He did know one thing though, and that was that Duck had kissed him. And also that he’d kissed Duck. There had definitely been kissing. 

Which was unfortunate because it was only going to make his inevitable exit from Kepler that much more difficult for him. It was one thing leaving behind something that you knew was never going to be a thing, it was another when you suddenly discovered that it _could_ be and that you really, really wanted it. 

Of course, there was no way of knowing if Duck felt that way too. There had been a lot of emotion tied up in the moment and, as they had both noted, also a lot of head trauma. In the cold light of day, now that everyone was safe and decidedly not dead, it was, Ned thought, perfectly reasonable for Duck to be having second thoughts. 

_Yeah, you would be more loveable dead than alive. A lot less trouble too._

“Fuck you,” Ned muttered under his breath as he lay in bed at the hospital that at this point really ought to just have a room ready and reserved for him, “I’m loveable as hell.”

He knew that Duck and Aubrey were in similar states of recuperation in other rooms, but he was waiting tensely for Mama or Barclay or _someone_ to walk in and, well, the cliche would be to break his legs, but they were already broken so who knows what they’d do instead, especially after hearing the truth from Aubrey about what he did to her.

But nobody came.

And as time dragged on without a solid way for Ned to keep track, this almost seemed worse, this unending nervous tension, why couldn’t they just get it over with already? What was the use in waiting? 

Ned was driving himself half-crazy and contemplating how far he could get if he could figure out a way to swipe a wheelchair when the door to his room opened and Aubrey Little limped inside, bandaged but overall looking much better. Wordlessly, she closed the door and dragged one of the visitor chairs over to Ned’s bedside, sitting down and folding her arms, her normally bright and open face unreadable. 

This was it. This was the exact moment Ned had been dreading ever since he learned right in this same stupid hospital that _oh shit, actions have consequences_ and that he’d managed to hurt someone he cared about before he ever even knew them because who else but Ned Fuckin’ Chicane could pull that one off?

And as Aubrey stared him down, Ned found himself doubling back and agreeing with the previous sentiment shared by the irritating little voice in his head: things really would be a whole lot easier if he had actually died. 

“Aubrey -” He started, only to be cut off by a single, decisive shake of her head. Aubrey stared Ned down and he felt like he could see all the pain and emotion she was trying so hard to keep tamped down and under control radiating out around her. 

“Tell me everything,” she said, her voice tight, barely level. 

“It’s not really all that much different than what I told everyone in Mama’s office,” Ned replied, unconsciously clutching at his bedsheets, nails digging into his palms even through a handful of blanket.

“What I said about me and Boyd was true, that I preferred robbing empty places and avoiding any kind of confrontation and that Boyd really didn’t give a shit. Still, what happened at your house, it obviously wasn’t supposed to go that way. It was supposed to be in and out, simple. Smash and grab.”

And Ned paused, couldn’t help but feel sick as he so clinically described the worst night of Aubrey’s life. He watched as Aubrey gripped the sides of her chair, clearly trying to stop herself from shaking. 

“Aubrey, please I don’t think this going to hel -”

“Keep going.”

“I was going through the first floor, Boyd was sweeping the second. And then, Aubrey, I swear to God, I don’t know what happened. Boyd came tearing down the stairs and there was just fire everywhere. I was so sure he’d messed something up, had some kind of dumb accident or something but it had escalated so quickly. We ran for the car and cops were chasing after us and I kept screaming at him asking what the hell had happened and he kept screaming back that he didn’t know and then...then we crashed.”

“I took a pretty good knock to the head but Boyd was unconscious and I...I was scared. I didn’t know what the fuck had just happened and if he’d just lit someone’s house...your house...on fire. And I could hear the police sirens and I, uh...I ditched him,” Ned finally managed to get out, unable to even look over at Aubrey at this point and see her reaction. He was pretty sure he could imagine it just fine anyway.

“I took what we stole from your house and I left him there for the police. Everything else that I said about not being able to fence the necklace and almost forgetting it was something I even had was true. And that’s all I know, kid. And...and I’m so goddamned sorry. I wish I knew I more, I wish I had something fucking _useful_ that I could tell you but I don’t. When I heard you talking to Mama that night...shit, I could barely even believe it. And I know it doesn’t count for anything but I came so close to telling you everything and giving it back to you so many times.”

“But you didn’t,” Aubrey finished, her voice flat, Ned still not looking at her. 

“No,” he admitted, “I didn’t. For what it’s worth, if it had been just us when Duck found it, if we’d been alone, I would’ve told you everything...or at least I like to think I would’ve. I did plan to tell you once we got back from Sylvaine before everything else happened and things...shook out the way they did.”

And Ned stopped talking as a short, bitter laugh forced its way out of him. “You know, it’s funny, when you walked in here just now, my gut instinct was to beg you to keep Mama and everyone else from tearing me to pieces long enough for me to get out of town, and that you’d never have to see my face again. That’s what I’ve always done y’know? Hurt people and ran away. But now,” he laughed again, “I don’t deserve a clean exit. I can’t even give you the closure you want. Whatever happens, happens. I haven’t earned myself anything more than that.”

Aubrey was quiet for a torturously long time to the point where Ned was finally forced to meet her gaze because he couldn’t stand the silence anymore. He looked up at Aubrey and was surprised to see not hate or anger or disgust on her face but instead a sad sort of curiosity.

“D’you really think Mama or any of the sylphs would kill you?”

“I dunno,” Ned mumbled, “for you? Maybe.”

“Why do you wanna die so bad, Ned?” Aubrey asked, her voice cracking a little as she did, “like, you do all this goofy stuff to not die when we’re fighting abominations but then other times it seems like you just really, really want to die. You wanted me to kill you -”

Ned sat up a bit, opening his mouth to protest that he’d only done that to save her and Duck but she waved him away, saying “and I know you did that because you thought it was the only way you could save us but there was more to it than that. You felt guilty and you wanted me to kill you and now you’re sitting here talking like Mama’s gonna come in here with a shotgun and blow your face off or something and it’s just another kind of running away, Ned! You’re still not fixing anything, you’re not dealing with it. You’re just dead.”

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, because he had no idea what else he could possibly say.

“What about Duck?” Aubrey pressed, “I was there with him when we thought you were gone. He was, I dunno, he was _broken_. Wrong. I’ve never seen him like that before. And now are you just gonna leave him?”

“Duck doesn’t need all this, all my bullshit and my baggage. He’s better off without me. Everyone is.”

“Ned!” Aubrey practically yelled, causing him to start in surprise, wincing at the suddenness of the movement. 

“No one’s coming to kill you, ok? No one’s making you leave! So you don’t have a choice here except to get your shit together and deal with us!” 

Ned frowned, unsure if Aubrey was indeed saying what he thought she was. “What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

“I mean,” Aubrey started slowly, “that Duck and I talked, and as far as Mama and Barclay and everyone else is concerned, the story you told us all before about how you got the necklace is the truth, and what happened in the woods was a really bad plan that went even worse than we thought it would.” 

And Ned knew he should be thanking her, he knew that he should be throwing himself at her feet, broken legs be damned but all he could do was just sit there in a daze and ask, “Why would you do this for me?”

Aubrey sighed heavily, let her head hang down as she snapped her heavily bandaged fingers. It didn’t seem to provide her with the same level of satisfaction it usually did. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” she started, “we’re not cool. And I don’t know when I’ll be able to forgive you, or if things will ever be like how they were before.”

And she stopped snapping and looked back at Ned, her eyes clear and determined.

“But I did it because the Ned who stole my mom’s necklace and ditched his partner isn’t the same Ned who sacrificed himself to save his friends, who’s been willing to over and over again, who’d even _have_ friends that he cared that much about. I think that Ned deserves the chance to stay in Kepler and keep trying to be better.”

Aubrey was quiet for a moment before adding, “and also maybe one day figure out that there’s like, a happy medium between being someone who only cares about protecting himself and someone who keeps risking his life because thinks he thinks he's only useful as an ‘acceptable loss.’”

“...I don’t know what to say,” Ned stammered, dangerously close to crying.

And Aubrey couldn’t help but crack a smile, “Ned Chicane at a loss for words? And I wasn’t even using magic or anything. No one’s ever gonna believe me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I lied, this one ended up running long so NEXT chapter's the last one, for real this time.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned gets some clarification

At some point, Ned must have fallen asleep because he woke up to find Duck had replaced Aubrey in the chair beside his bed, the younger man’s head slumped forward, apparently dozing. He was a mess of bruises and cuts and covered in bandages, spots of blood showing through the gauze covering the wound on his forehead. Knowing that Duck was harder to kill, that he healed quicker than the rest of them served to show Ned just how beat to shit Duck had actually gotten and it made his heart ache.

Ned shifted in the bed, propping himself up, the sound of his movement enough to wake Duck out of what must have been a fairly light sleep. 

“Hey there, Sleeping Beauty,” Ned quipped, his still-croaky voice ruining the moment a bit.

“Look who’s talking,” Duck replied with an equal amount of rust in his voice as he very carefully stretched his shoulders before adding, “Aubrey said she talked to you.”

“Yeah,” Ned said quietly, suddenly having a hard time looking directly at Duck, “she did, and she said you were part of the decision to, y’know, give me a chance...so thanks.”

Duck shrugged awkwardly, his face hard to read but his body language pretty clearly uncomfortable and, as the silence stretched out between them, Ned could feel himself start to squirm as well. The tension of what neither of them was saying clogged the room, took up so much space it felt like there was barely any air to breathe. 

While Ned could only imagine what the other man was thinking, Duck sure looked like he was about to get his fingernails pulled out or something equally torturous and all Ned could think was that _of course_ Duck regretted kissing him and even though he’d certainly seemed to enjoy it in the moment, it was obviously eating at him now. After talking with Aubrey, he’d dared to hope that if Duck wanted him to stay in Kepler that maybe, just _maybe_ Duck still felt the same way he had in the woods, the way Ned still felt now even as he mentally kicked himself for being so deluded. That goddamned stupid voice in his head was right again, just because Duck thought Ned was capable of redemption didn’t mean he felt anything more than that.

“Look,” Ned said, unable to stand the quiet, “we don’t have to talk about the, uh, the thing that happened when you found me -”

“Ned,” Duck started to interrupt but Ned just shook his head and kept going, determined to get through to the end.

“There was obviously a lot of...emotion, in the moment, and everything, and I understand that the, y’know, rush of feelings or whatever and all the shit that had happened and the stuff we said could easily lead to actions that someone might... _regret_ later -”

“ _Ned_ ,”

“I just don’t want you to think that I got the wrong idea or, I dunno, expect anything from you, because I don’t and I need you to know -”

“Ned!” Duck snapped sharply, the harsh tone finally cutting Ned’s rambling short.

Ned winced and forced himself to look at Duck, “Yeah?”

“Shut up.”

And in a surprisingly quick and fluid motion for someone with his level of injuries, Duck moved out of the chair and onto the bed, gripped Ned by the shoulder, and pulled him close, kissing him hard. Once past the initial shock, Ned leaned into it, wrapped himself around Duck tight, maybe a little too tight, as Duck gave a small grunt of pain and Ned relaxed his hold a bit, felt lighter than he had in he didn’t know how long, finally let his brain just _stop_ for a minute and get lost in the moment.

He finally had to pull away, if only to catch his breath, but Duck didn’t let go, kept Ned close against his chest and Ned let his head rest on Duck’s shoulder and exhaled slowly. They stayed that way for a while until Duck cleared his throat, Ned feeling it reverberate through him.

“Ok?” Duck asked, the meaning implicit.

“Yeah,” Ned answered.

“Good.”

Ned could feel an absurdly wide smile spreading across his face, made no attempt to try and hide it since Duck couldn’t see it, but it was impossible not to hear it in his voice as he said, “You know Aubrey’s never going to let us hear the end of it, right?”

And Duck groaned in true, genuine agony.

“Ah, fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did the thing! Sorry it took so long. Part of me just kind of didn't want to be done with it, if that makes sense. This was the first multi-chapter fic I've written in a VERY long time and thank you all so much for the incredibly sweet and amazing comments :D


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